This might be a weird/offensive question, but I'm trying not to be transphobic, so I'm really sorry if this offends anyone. So I'm 99% sure that I'm a lesbian. It's still a little confusing, but there's just something about men that isn't attractive to me. Anyways, so the other day I found myself attracted to a trans man/boy. What does that mean? I'm confused. It wasn't sexual attraction, just that warm tingly romantic attraction feeling. Is this normal?
Is he still presenting as female? Does he look male in any way, or does he look female/androgynous? If he presents in a feminine manner, of course you're able to be attracted to him. You like women, and what you're perceiving (unitentionally or not) is that the person in front of you is female because of the way they look. On the other hand, if he's presenting as male, it could be that you're subconsciously thinking of him as female and/or thinking in terms of his genitals being appropriate for you (but since you said you're not feeling sexually interested in him, I think that the latter is unlikely). It's also possible that this guy is just an exception to the rule for you. Many straight/gay people are not 100% hardline always-opposite-sex straight, and can find very rare attraction to someone outside of their preferred gender. If he's the only guy you've ever felt attraction to then I'd say that you've got no real need to question whether men as a whole are attractive to you - he could just be your one exception.
Okay. Thanks! Stirring up the confusion again is kind of terrifying. He looks male, I think. His posture and whatnot is all guy, so I'm guessing he's presenting 100% as a guy.
There's nothing transphobic about your concern. All good. As the poster above mentioned, you should maybe ask yourself if you're crushing on this guy because you secretly don't see him as a real man. But maybe he's really an exception for you. You can still think of yourself as very much lesbian, but quite honestly, I wouldn't go tell him "I' a lesbian but I'm a bit attracted to you, what do you make of that?" Is this normal? I think so, yes. But then, I'm bi so I don't really see what the fuss is about for other people. Things happen. Crushes come and go. It doesn't always need to change who you are. Except if you want it to.
