I need help with my sexuality. So…here goes... I find girls waaay more attractive than guys. I also don’t find guys ‘hot’ - I get turned on by the idea of being with a hot girl in a bikini. I love staring into a girl’s dark brown eyes, and touching and hugging girls gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. One time, at a sleepover with 3 girls, my best friend and I were going to sleep on the floor in an airbed. While the host was getting the blankets and stuff and I was alone with the other girl, and I felt a tingling feeling (I think it was lust?). I’ve also on more than one occasion had a spontaneous fantasy about being sexual with a girl - I have never had one of those with a guy. I welcome the thought of spending my life with a beautiful girl, and being intimate with her. However, I can also be aroused by men, but I don’t have any desire to be sexual or intimate with them. I feel like marrying a man and being with one all the time would be horrible, stiff and awkward (but I don’t know if this is because of the fact that I have no friends that are boys or not). As YuriBunny said on another post, people can be turned on in any circumstance, and I think this is true with me. Also, when I was 9 years old, I remember saying that I wanted to marry my best friend and thinking that a girl was cute, although I kept insisting to myself that it wasn’t ‘in a weird way' (I wasn’t 'educated' then, sorry!). I also remember saying about the former, ‘Does that mean we would be lesbians?’ (I have no idea how I knew about lesbians then, but that leads on to the next point). I also turned to Wikipedia to google ‘LGBT’ (maybe that’s how I found out about it). Now, I don’t know the order of these events (or if they’re relevant to my sexuality). Even though I know all of the evidence adds up to me being a lesbian, sometimes I feel like I’m floundering and unsure…when I write out my feelings like this, I feel in order, like I really am a lesbian, and I feel comfortable with that label..is it that I just need time and doing things like this to get used to it, or am I not a lesbian at all? This is basically all of the evidence I think (oh, and on top of all this, I’ve been experiencing my first real ‘crush’ on anyone, on one of my - female - friends). Sorry for the long post, I tried to separate the paragraphs so it wasn’t too hard. Please reply ASAP - I’m not in a rush to come out at all, but I’ve already come out to my brother (truth or dare, I’d been talking about my female crushes and he asked me if I was bi, I assumed he knew and started talking about my gayness later) so I don’t want to leave too long a gap in case he lets some stuff slip and all that. Thanks! P.S - I'm 13 years old
