Ok I'm going to get straight to the point. I prefer women over men, but when I can't get a girl, I will be with a guy. I don't mean that I sleep around. Whomever I'm with at the time, I stay faithful to as long as we're together. I'm more attracted to women more than I am men but for some reason, I tend to find it easier to meet and connect with guys than it is with girls. At least that's been my experience. And I dont really see myself being with a girl anytime soon. I have been seeing this guy for a few months now off and on but now we're kind of serious and we have an understanding and are faithful to each other. He is a really great guy and I enjoy his company. But I don't know if I could ever get married to him or have a public, out in the open relationship with him. My family doesn't even know about me or my preferences. Where I live people are very religious and close minded so I keep my personal life to myself. Anyways, I can see myself being with this guy for the long haul, but what if I meet a girl and I like her too? I would hate to ditch this guy and then things not work out with the girl cuz he is such a great guy and I'm actually pretty content and happy with him so far. But he is openly gay and only a few close friends of mine know about me and him and that's it. He knows I like girls too. But he knows that I won't cheat on him while I'm with him cuz thats just not my style. But it doesnt seem fair to him cuz I have to live in the shadows and hide my relationship with him. Then again in my opinion, I don't think its really anyone else's business. I mean we can go out and do things together as a couple but just as long as my family doesn't find out about it. They would shun me and disown me and my kids would never look at me the same again. Anyways I'm rambling sorry. I'm confused. Not really sure how to feel or what to do. I don't see a point in pursuing a woman when I'm perfectly happy and content with the guy I'm with now. I have kind of given up on women to be honest but I still find myself more attracted to women than men. But it easier to be with men than women for me at least. So what do I do? Where do I stand? Am I bisexual or a closet gay? Or maybe I am bisexual and am now leaning more towards being gay?
If you have any attraction to your own gender and other genders, then you're bi. You can have a preference or find yourself attracted to a certain gender more often, but that doesn't take away the bisexuality. And in terms of being scared of leaving him for a girl, I'd say don't worry about "other options" when you're in a relationship that you like. Focus on how you feel in that relationship itself. If you're not happy, then leave. There will always be more fish in the sea and people you work well with. If you don't think it will last, then you can leave as well before things fall apart. I'll be honest, and forgive me if I'm pushing too far, but it sounds like more of an issue with your family and your status in the closet. You're dealing with a lot of pressure and stress. It makes sense that you would question yourself. Just remember that those struggles don't define you. Don't let what other people say sway what you think of your sexuality. You're the one in charge, you make the decisions, you know what you feel. And nobody can change that. Good luck! (*hug*)
