I've been out for a few months now, and I am slowly moving through the stages of coming to terms with my sexuality. The only issue now is I get anxious when I see men now. If I'm watching something and there is shirtless guy, I immediately feel uncomfortable. Then I test myself to see if there is an actual attraction there which there never is. I've vene tried to look up naked men and it only lasts a few seconds before I feel grosses out by the penis, no offence to guys, it's just not appealing to me. The anxiety has waned over the last month, but it's still bothering me to the point of making me depressed. I don't want to be with guys or anything, but the anxiety won't go away. Did anyone experience this after coming out? I would really like to hear from people who came out later/and or were in straight relationships. On a side note, I still live with my ex-bf which might be making things a little more difficult to accept than I previously thought.
Wow, I feel like I could’ve written like this- it sounds like what I used to wonder not too long ago (minus a few details- but quite similar). For me, at one point it was almost painful. I kind of dreaded seeing a naked guy, because I knew it’d set off this inner dialogue, in which it felt like my insides were at war with each other. It’s a weird one to explain really. I’d pause and rewind scenes when I’d see a scene with a shirtless guy to test myself, and I’d almost get this feeling of…annoyance? I’d say. I’d get annoyed at myself, because I knew what was coming. “Are you attracted to this? Yes? No? Why not? Who are you?” like I said, it’s tough to explain since I don’t really have much to compare it too. Sometimes it’d be physical, I’d get a stomach ache and it’d feel like someone was tying my stomach in knots. I’d scold myself for being so irrational for feeling this and thinking in this way. And I’d feel confused and lonely because it felt like I was the only one experiencing this, and I wasn’t sure who to ask about it, so I think I made a few threads on here myself about it. So, it seemed fairly simple. “I’m a lesbian then, right?”. Well- that’s what I thought, but with er certain circumstances resurfacing for me, it’s made things a little more complicated: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/223276-turning-bisexual-when-period.html Right now, I see myself as somewhat of a Kinsey 5 in attraction. Under normal circumstances, I feel indifferent towards men. However, in certain circumstances (like in the thread above) I am capable of feeling something. It’s only happened once in my life so far, but it has opened up a lot of questions for me. Which can be annoying, because it feels like I’m back to questioning every little thing these days. Despite this though, I do feel like I am getting closer to an answer. Not sure if any of this is any help, but yeah- you’re not the only one to have experienced this is what I’m going for. :smilewave
