Gay and bi guys, give me some advice please!

You said you have attraction to both men and women, so that probably means you're bisexual. Not all bisexual people have an equal amount of attraction to genders, many (the majority I think) have stronger attraction towards one gender over others or a fluid feeling where sometimes they are more attracted to one gender and other times attracted to a different gender. There are also people who would technically be considered bisexual, but have such a negligible attraction towards one gender that they call themselves gay/homoflexible or straight/heteroflexible since their preference is so strong. So if the label of gay sounds more appealing or correct for you I wouldn't consider it wrong for you to call yourself gay. Some people also describe their romantic orientation (who they can fall in love with) separately from their sexual orientation (who they would like to have sex with) - under this, you could call yourself homoromantic bisexual. There is debate over whether romantic and sexual attraction are separate/can be different orientations, though, so keep that in mind if you do end up using those labels.

 

Yeah, I find more feminine men attractive, though there are some masculine men I find attractive too, but I like wayyy more women than men. So you can be bi and still have a type you like. Do you like every woman you see? Some women just do nothing for me, but that doesn't mean I don't like women.

 

To me you sound like bisexual. You don't need to be attracted to men and women in the same way in order to "qualify", as you put it. I for example find women more attractive in general but I feel like I'd be better off having a man as a romantic partner as I tend to make stronger emotional connections with them, if that makes sense.

 

There is actually a difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation. You COULD be homoromantic bisexual bit maybe you just haven't found THAT girl.
With me, it's the other way round I like guys and tomboys are my type. But tomboys are still girls.

 

In my opinion you're bisexual, and a mix of romantic feelings one way and sexual feelings another way. I also think we're at a disadvantage in our society wanting to label things so neatly. Knowing yourself 100% may not be possible with labels, so I think "bisexual" is the closest.

I consider myself entirely gay, and yet I still meet women that I find attractive. In my case it's an easy situation because I don't feel a need to be sexual with them. I can see their beauty and appreciate them aesthetically without the sexual urge. To me this leaves me as "gay", or possibly 90% gay 10% straight, or, simply "bisexual" in a textbook way.

As you have more an more relationships you may get to know your sexual and romantic orientation better. If it's not clear, or if it takes time, just go easy on yourself. Enjoy sex for what it is - a beautiful mystery.

*warm hugs*

Patrick

 

You sound bisexual to me. I identified as bi when I was still going through the bargaining phase of my coming out even though I only enjoyed "sausages". I had no sexual attraction to women and now I identify as gay. You said you enjoy women sexually therefore I would say that you are bi but only you can identify yourself.

 

Hey

You may want to check out this YouTube video. It's more about the discussion about bisexuality than the 'quiz.'

Are You Bisexual - Quiz

 

I can sooo relate to this! Both this, and your previous post.

I have always been very attracted to twinks. Still, I can feel attraction towards women, but whenever I see a young, skinny guy something just clicks in my brain, I get the adrenaline rush etc. That has never happened with any woman, but instead my attraction towards women similarly spans a wider age range. At the same time I have absolutely no interest in more mature men, as in the features they typically acquire after the age of 22-24 or so (facial hair, bigger body build etc.). So my attraction to twinks is by far the greatest and in a category of its own, while my attraction to mature men is non-existing. Women fall somewhere in the middle for me in terms of physical attractiveness, but on the other hand I can get very attracted to them on an emotional level.

It's just very problematic due to the constant confusion. Taking a walk downtown with all the twink-looking guys around puts me in a constant state of stress. I constantly wonder whether I should pursue anything or not, and it has also been very stressful for me to be in a relationship with a woman due to this constant worry and guilt whenever I see a good-looking, young guy and experience that tingly feeling. It's a very brief pleasure quickly replaced by even more confusion, which is difficult to handle on a day-to-day basis. In my head, the understanding of my own sexuality can simply change from one moment to the next.

In terms of your question I'm afraid that I don't have any answers since it's also something I'm going through myself. But at least it's nice knowing that there are others out there similar to you!

All the best!

 

To be honest...you'll be a much happier man if you just go where your feelings take you and quit relying on a label to identify yourself. Our nature is to love one another. It was society who tried to tell us who we could and couldn't love. Sometimes it's scary but the support is out there. Don't ruin your chance at love and a happy life by trying to fit yourself into a label that someone came up with. You be you and you do you!