hi guys, if you know yourself that you like men but you haven't labeled yourself yet because you liked a girl, gosh I really really can't forget anything about her, we've been chatting every night and it makes me smile and all giddy I just don't know what's happening to me, I've known this girl for 2 highschool years and we were so close before and we kinda had a mutual feelings ( I sensed it ) and it's like we're dating, I haven't told her I liked her 3 years since graduation so make five years, I had feelings for her for almost five years! I found myself aroused sometimes when I think about her on intimate level but I can't deny the fact that can be turned on by guys too, and now I'm pressured because what if I told her that I have feelings for her at the same time telling her I'm no straight, I don't want to "use" her and if ever I wanted to date or pursue her, I want to be completely honest with her, but I'm afraid that she won't accept the real me. And it seems like she's waiting for me to make a move. But I'm serious when it comes to her. What should I do?
Labels are and can be a matter of choice. Some people fall for someone of the opposite sex and still call themselves gay because it was just that one person that they like for them. Some take simply falling for the opposite sex even without any sexual attraction as a reason to call themselves Bi. If you tell her you are gay then she will most likely take that as a rejection so that's not something I would advise you to do. If you don't want to label yourself or aren't sure about your attractions yourself you could simply tell her without using labels. If you tell her that you have been into guys before but are now in love with her she most likely won't take that as a rejection. I think that if you two are as close as you describe she will accept you for who you are. After all she knows you as a person and has begun to like that person. Sexuality is what you are not who you are and the who is what matters in these situations. Good luck =)
Honestly, I think it's perfectly fine not to label yourself at all. I don't like feeling constrained by labels, so when I so label myself it's very loosely done and that's something I let people know if it's something that matters in the relationship that I have with them.
