So, I've been in a committed relationship since February of this year. I moved to North Dakota with him because the lease was up and his mother was here and she ran a motel so we would have free rent for a while. But lately I've been thinking this isn't for me. I came out as bisexual at 13. I had always had problems with myself. I liked girls and I had always been taught that was wrong. I played football, pretty much all the guy sports in my spare time, even had a couple of girl friends that experimented with me but I never got the chance to settle down and date one because they decide they're straight after awhile. I have dated a bunch of men, even had sex with a couple of them; and it doesn't feel right. I feel like I have to work myself up to wanting it, and even then I could be thinking of the cute lady I saw at the grocery store. My current boyfriend I have known since my freshman year of high school. He tells me that I need to do what will make me happy, but I'm so afraid of hurting him and his delicate emotions, that I haven't left yet. I care for him deeply, and want a family with his genes and morals, but I don't feel right about it. I've been working myself into a deep depression about this, and I would really like some sort of help and advice. Should I tell him that being straight isn't for me? Or should I just keep this buried inside like I have been?
My advice is to just tell him the truth. It might lead to a break-up, which will hurt, but it would be the right thing to do. Look at it this way. Staying is unfair to both sides. You won't be able to have the life you want with a woman, and he is forbidden to have a happy healthy romantic/sex life with an actual straight/bi woman. It might make him feel unattractive and lead to even more depression. I think having kids is a mistake. Just look in the later in life section. Plenty of gay people thought they could do it, but they end up mentally harming their spouses AND the kids. It might be a fantasy, but the kids will be the ones who truly suffer if you make that choice.
