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Can someone please explain?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Chocolate Cake, Oct 14, 2016.

  1. Chocolate Cake

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    What is it like to be aromantic?

    I swear I've been romantically attracted to someone in the past but I honestly don't know for certain. Now? I can't feel it for anyone, no matter how hard I try. I've always wondered what my sexuality is and some days I feel like I'm lying to myself, that I'm really straight, other days I feel like I wouldn't be comfortable in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Essentially - what the actual hell is going on?

    Perhaps I am too young to be asking this question but I just don't know any more. So, to those who are aromantic, what is it like? Maybe I am too but I can't say for certain. Maybe it is a spectrum? :help:
     
  2. Creativemind

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    I'm not aromantic but my friend is.

    Aromanticism is basically just having no desires to be in a romantic relationship OR being unable to form any real romantic interest in someone.

    For my friend, she's never been interested in people "that way". But she's still a warm, loving, compassionate person who loves her friends and family. She also loves romance as a concept and constantly writes romantic stories, although she has never been interested in actual people.

    Now, I'm homoromantic. So I'll also explain my orientation. Sometimes if I get too emotionally close to someone, I start to fantasize about us together. What would she be like as my girlfriend? I want to kiss her. I want to see us grow old together, maybe with kids or pets. I get a tingly feeling in my stomach, like the "butterflies" phase. The infatuation makes me feel queasy, but I can't stop thinking about her. This level of attachment is so intense, different from what I feel for other friends. Ironically, I'm less interested in the concept of romance than my aromantic friend is though. I get bored with the romance genre, find other couples to be boring and cheesy, sometimes don't even care if I stay single forever, but when the love bug finally hits....it hits.

    Which one are you more like? You don't have to feel romantic attraction all the time to be non-aromantic (personally, I feel it less than yearly) but you could be aro if you've never felt those feelings. You also don't explain how you feel about the same sex, so that could be another option.
     
  3. Chocolate Cake

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    I'd say I'm far more similar to you, actually. I'd say maybe once a year I'd feel like that for someone, but I can never actually imagine (or feel any desire) to be in a relationship with them.

    Perhaps it has more to do with my family, and personal fears and doubts about being in a relationship than my orientation. Judging from what you said about your friend, I'm not really aromantic. Perhaps we share some traits, but I don't think we share an orientation.

    As for the same sex, I tend to be more likely to be hetero-romantic and homosexual. :| Because of that I tend to go for more gender-neutral looking people as I'll have more of a likelihood of feeling both (idk how that works but it does). Perhaps I'm just slow to feel romantic feelings and just need to know someone for ages.

    Thank you for replying! Its great to get someone else's insight. Even if I struggle to feel romantic feelings for someone I'll probably still date people. It might take longer, but I think I would perhaps feel romantic towards them or at least love them for who they are, and I would need the companionship in my life. I just hope they'd be okay with that.