I'll keep it short this time: I'm almost 25. One of my siblings came out as gay recently, everybody's happy, accepting and normal about it including me. The thing is, I'm always back and forth about being gay, bisexual or straight... I have had sex with men, I liked some of it, I fooled around with an exgf and I loved it. I get off almost always to gay porn, sometimes str8 would work for me. But still I don't know why even if I have the certainty that my family members, friends, etc, would be bery accepting if I was gay or came out, why I don't feel like I am or have to. One of my parents asked me the other day: Well, We know one of our kids is gay, are you too? You could tell us... And without hesitation I said: No, I would've told you before If I was, Why wouldn't I?... So there you have it, Can't come to terms with my sexuality and it sucks, I love women sexually and romantically but with men it's almost always sexual...:bang:
So that's fine. I think I'm like that, but opposite - into women all around, into men sexually. Sometimes romantically. So I've settled on queer for the most part, but also call myself gay a lot. Don't put stress on it. When you accept your sexuality, you'll feel better. It'll also help you determine if it's worth saying anything to anyone. When I was 25, I had a total breakdown about my sexuality, so you're not alone!! Ride it out. And be kind to yourself through it.
Wow this is so relatable. Except I'm really only sexually attracted to girls, and much more romantically and sexually attracted to guys. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone who will make everything clear.
I understand. I am more sexually attractedto men but less so to women while I am very romantically attracted to women. I am not surewhat to tell you but always remember, this doesn't nessisarily mean you're not queer and your sexuality is capable of changeing without warning so you might suddenly fall in love with a guy or not be attracted to men or women or both. Enjoy the hellish confusion
It's really frustrating having to figure out your own sexuality, coming to terms with it and people feeling like they deserve an explanation. I finally feel like I'm learning and understanding more about The fight and struggle of having a different sexual orientation or identity than the social norm. What's really difficult for me is that sometimes I feel lonely or like I won't be able to date anyone again until I figure myself out, I think it would be so selfish to enter a relationship just to try and experience what "I" want or how "I" feel and putting the other person on a second place. Sorry for the rant, I tend to ramble a lot while trying to put my thoughts in order while feeling confused
Try not to limit relationships because of that thinking: afraid to be using someone to see what you like. That's pretty much what dating is about. Trying people out to see what you like. If it wasn't to figure out if you're into a guy or girl or non binary, it would be to figure out the type of personality you're into. And that applies here. Definitely don't just go out and date someone solely because you're questioning their gender. Date someone you like and take it from there. Dating is not a binding contract for marriage, thank goodness. Just go out and have fun.
That's a great advice. Thank you for giving me more perspective on what I should be doing, I guess I just need to stop overthinking. What do you think about using dating apps? I have been considering using one to take me out of my comfort zone and just meet people and see how it goes...
I agree with what everyone else has said. I'd just like to add though, about what kind of porn you watch - it doesn't matter. It doesn't really seem to be an indicator of your orientation. All porn is just fantasy and it's only purpose is to get you off. People search for what meets their needs, hence why a lot of straight women watch lesbian porn. And hence why I as a lesbian woman also watch straight porn. Sometimes even male gay porn.
