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Am I Gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nero360, Oct 22, 2016.

  1. Nero360

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    Well I've been watching a few videos recently on sexual orientation and I've come to the conclusion that I might be gay. For this reason I say is because i'm only sexually attracted to guys, and only romantically attracted to girls.
     
    #1 Nero360, Oct 22, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2016
  2. SiennaFire

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    If you are sexually attracted to guys, then chances are good that you'll become romantically attracted to guys as well. The reason is that one's sexual orientation determines both sexual and romantic attraction. It's common for guys who are still accepting their sexuality as gay or bisexual to not initially feel romantic attraction to guys. As you get more comfortable your sexuality and meet someone special, your romantic feelings for him will develop.

    As for your attraction to girls, do you think you are feeling more friendship than romance?
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Oct 22, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2016
  3. Nero360

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    I like guys both sexually and romantically. As for girls they don't really turn me on, but i really really like girls, idk if it's admiration or just a love for girls in general. I can imagine living with a girl my whole life but not in any sexual way is all. So yeah i guess i can say i like girls romantically.
     
  4. I'm gay

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    It's perfectly normal for you to have deep, intimate but platonic friendships with women. Why must that be called romantic? Feelings of romance occur as part of attraction, and if you're attracted to boys and not girls then you're likely just plain gay and don't need a special label. It's wonderful to have women friends that are so close, like best friends.
     
  5. falconfalcon

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    Hey :slight_smile:


    Well, you are some degree of bisexual. You are young, and very much still developing sexually - so the jury's out. You may find that you are not exzactly 50% - 50 % bisexual (like most people who are bisexual :slight_smile: and that you lean very much towards one gender that you are interested. You may very definitely have a distinct sexual preference- and it may be for men. It may be so strong that in the end, you feel like you may as well just consider yourself gay. But as it stands you are somewhere in the huge grey area in between the poles of gay and straight :wink: That's Totally ok - Its fine. As you grow older it may change a bit, or not - either way, this is totally normal. Sexuality is very complicated . Just celibrate who you are, and enjoy :wink:


    Take care!!

    ---------- Post added 22nd Oct 2016 at 02:08 PM ----------

    *But yeah, if you dont want to have sex with girls you are pretty much gay. And that's fine - you never have to date a girl. I just don't want to lie to you and say at your age there's no chance you feelings could change a bit - you might turn out to be fulll blown bisexual. Or not :wink: Its OK. Today - your pretty much gay. Enjoy!!!! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Chip

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    If you only have sexual attraction to guys... you're most likely gay. And I think the other posters have pretty much explained it as far as what you feel toward women... that's most likely deep, emotionally intimate friendship, which is quite common among many gay men. 16 isn''t young, and sexual development (at least as far as attraction) is pretty complete for most people by that age.

    This is often a difficult thing to accept in yourself so give yourself time and patience. And one of the best things you can do is -- as you are doing -- to talk about it :slight_smile:
     
  7. falconfalcon

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    I think 16 is pretty darn young, especially considering the human brain doesn't stop developing until age 25.
     
  8. Chip

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    The brain doesn't stop developing until 25, but there's zero evidence that sexual orientation is impacted by the changes in brain plasticity that happen between adolescence and adulthood. In fact, most studies indicate that sexual orientation is fixed either before birth or very early (first 2-3 years) after birth. By 16, according to everything we know, orientation is solid. Awareness of being gay can happen later due to strong denial, but the idea that someone at 16 isn't fully developed as far as sexual orientation isn't supported by any current knowledge in the field.
     
  9. RainbowsFactory

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    I had the same thing a few years ago! :slight_smile: When I found out that I was gay, I was romantically attracted to girls and sexually attracted to guys. Now, I am both sexually and physically attracted to men. The thing is, sexuality IS fluid and can sometimes change slightly.

    For you, your love for men romantically might come, or it may not. I would just wait a bit and see what will happen. Good luck, I know it's not easy to be gay yet also attracted romantically to women. :slight_smile:
     
  10. SiennaFire

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    Given that you haven't reported any physical attraction to girls, then I would agree that you are most likely gay. It sounds like you like girls platonically, as really good friends and companions, but without any sexual interest in them it's unlikely that you are bisexual. Hopefully you go to an accepting school where you are able to meet a nice boyfriend.
     
    #10 SiennaFire, Oct 23, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2016
  11. Creativemind

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    In my opinion, 16 is old enough to know sexuality, especially since It's the age where sexual urges and relationship interests are at It's highest. I'm 26, and I have less interest in sex now than I did as a 16 year old, so to me it seems obvious that sexuality would be fixed then. Plus, nobody says a 16 year old straight boy is "too darn young to know he's straight, he could be gay or bi at 25 so why is he labeling himself". Most of the the too young stuff comes from homophobic views.

    To the OP, you're probably just gay. It can be hard to understand the difference between romance and good friendship sometimes, which is why some people get confused. But I have really deep friendships that do not feel romantic or sexual.
     
  12. Gay Deputy

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    At 16, you could fit any numerous labels with the amount of hormones flooding your body. my experience led from romantic and detached sexual feelings for women with a slight sexual interest in men to a full blown case of the gay. I slowly started leaning more and more towards men and noticed I no longer was interested romantically or sexually to women. The sexual attraction was the first to go followed by the romantical attraction. Go where your feelings take you brutha. You'll be a much happier man if you let the labels go and just do you. We are, by nature, bound to love one another. It is only society's rules that attempted to tell us who we could and could not love. I refuse to allow some 1800s mawmaw tell me who I can love. Be honest with yourself, seek help when you need it, and learn from those of us who have been there.

    Best of luck