So here's my situation. I'm currently a freshman in college and have started to come to terms with the idea that I may be bisexual. I say "may be" because in all honestly I have no idea. The first time I can remember even fathoming the idea of being with a women was around my junior year of high school. Coincidentally a female friend of mine had just come out as pan and then proceeded to professed her love towards me. I didn't have feelings for her but I suppose that is what got the ball rolling in a sense. My friends have always been primarily girls. I've always felt more comfortable around girls than guys. I suppose I've thought that if you were friends with a guy then why not date him. But recently I've been thinking that maybe I'm more comfortable around girls because I'm attracted to them. I've never been sexual with either a man or women so I have no idea what I want. All I know is that I have usually felt like I could be more myself when I'm around other girls. Here's the thing...I know my mother, brother, and maybe my father would be completely supportive if I were to come out. It's the other family members that I'm worried about (grandmother, aunts, uncle, cousins). I've always loved to be normal. To blend in. If I were to come out I would hence forth be known as the "gay cousin" and that scares me to no end. I want to be happy. If I could 100% be happy with a man and only a man then I would choose that in an instant. But I don't know if I can be and that is utterly terrifying. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE.
I'm sorry for your troubling thoughts. I wish I had some profound advice but every situation is different and in the end it's up to the person to decide what truly makes them happy. Most of us just have an idea of what it is that would make us happy and some times that idea isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially if in part we're doing what we think will keep others happy. I say take your time. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. My thoughts are with you though dear.
First of all, welcome to EC. I'm pleased you found us to confide in and I hope we can help and offer support as you try to find a way forward. Working through the confusion and deciding to come out is a bit of a journey, and like most journeys, it's better shared. When you share it with people who care and have first hand knowledge of the bumps in the road, it's easier and feels less lonely. The second point (and really important point) I want to make is that you are normal. You are normal, regardless of your sexuality. Being bisexual, or gay does not make you a flawed or damaged human being and you should never, ever accept that narrative from anyone. If people dislike you for being bi/gay, the problem is with them and not with you, and if it's their problem, they need to fix it. You don't solve a problem of your own making, by asking somebody else to change themselves. So you are normal, but I wonder if that's how you feel? I'm sure some members of my family see me as the "gay cousin", but I'm not bothered by that because I am their cousin and I just happen to be gay. The only reason I should be scared of being described that way is if it's untrue or I am ashamed. Is that what's scaring you, I wonder? If every member of your family was accepting and tolerant, and if you were able to accept the idea that you can be happy with a woman too, does it feel any less scary? Does it feel more "normal"? Have a think about these questions and come back to us about it.
