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Welcome fellow aromantics!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Patient4479, Oct 24, 2016.

  1. Patient4479

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    Hi :slight_smile:

    I'm Caroline: 16, Austrian, bi and aro. I've been identifying as bisexual for nearly 2,5 years now and recently (came to terms with it about a month ago) discovered being aromantic as well. I'm quite happy to have finally figured out my sexual and romantic orientation at the moment and am actually planning to go on a "date" with a possible future queerplatonic partner soon! :grin:

    I just wanted to start this thread in case anyone has been wondering about their romantic/sexual orientation or wants to share their own story!

    I'd love to hear all of it!
    Love, Caroline

    [sorry for the grammar mistakes/typos, I'm a native german :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:]
     
  2. Nightdream

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    Hello Caroline, nice to meet you! Alright, so I'm kinda questioning a little my romantic orientation and wanted to ask you a question if you don't mind. How did you figure out you were aromantic? What makes you different from the people that have romantic feelings and what are your expetations for your future relationships? These questions could also help other questioning people that might be aromantic.
     
  3. Patient4479

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    Hey Nightdream!

    It's always great to be questioning one's orientation so good on you for doing that! To your questions... I'll gladly give you my perosnal experience if that helps you. If there's any more questions you just let me know, okay?

    So... to tell you my whole story would be way to long but I remeber always seeing relationships pretty scepitical. An example I like to give goes: Imagine a vegetable you can't stand (I know it sound weird but stay with me here, okay?). Now imagine some 5-star-cook making a fancy ass soufle or something out of that vegetable. Like reeealy appatizing looking! And now imagine someone eating it und how you're able to really see how much they're enjoing it. Got it? Okay. So relationships are that soufle for me: They look nice from afar, the person involved lookes to really enjoy it... but I'd never EVER wann be in theri place because I simply hate the cour substance! (I know, I know, best exmple ever :grin:)

    So having that in mind I started thinking what I wanted: sexual realtionships? Yes. Romantic ones? No. One-night-stands? Not a fan either. Which leaves me with a very simple "friends-with-benefits" kinda solution in mind.

    I acutally found a guy who would suit that position great! He's smart, funny, good looking, has similar interests and respects me, so we're gonna meet soon for a sort of "date" where I'll just be upfront about what kind of relationship I'd like to have and just ask him if he's interested in that sorta thing. Another great benefit is that he absolutly reasures me, that I'm aro because I'd be head over heals for that guy if I were romantic... he's serioulsy like the whole package! (I'm praying that he doesn't read this ever xD)

    What I'm expecting from my future... I'd love to have a non-time-consuming relatioship full of mutual respect, non-romantic love and also sexual interaction. I'm 16 so I don't really care what that's gonna hold for my future, wheter I might settle down with a life long partner or not and please don't ask me about kids :'D I just know that I am happy with my current situation and really hoping it works out with that guy!

    Hope I could help a bit!
    Love,
    Caroline
     
  4. Brytaleith

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    Hello, Caroline!
    I'm aro too! It's always great to meet another aro!

    Hi, Nightdream!

    Figuring out my romantic orientation took a pretty long time. But what really drove it home was my attitude towards romance. After seeing so much romance online, on TV, movies and fanfiction, and in real life, it just became really clear that I simply didn't understand how romance worked. I'm still literally incapable of seeing any relationship as romantic, unless I'm reminded like, a thousand times or something. Obviously, this isn't how every aro thinks, and it's just applicable to me, but hopefully it helps?

    Aros are different from other romantic orientations in that we don't experience romantic feelings. That's really it. It's all in the definition :slight_smile:

    I don't really have plans for future relationship. But I don't really have plans for the future. So. It's nice not planning, anywau. I just really want to see where life will take me. But my friends and I have also drawn out this elaborate scheme of living near each other when we grow up so that we can continue being best friends. They'll have their significant others, of course, so I'm somewhat doubtful about that plan.