I recently came to the conclusion that I might be more gay (lesbian) than straight. However, I'm bi, I know I can fall in love with men and everything, because I've been there. But over the past two years I went that sort of path: 1. hm, okey, I feel aroused by looking at her, nothing wrong with it. Am I bi? Bisexual heteroromantic... I think I felt that in the past. Yeah, I did, I think I blushed at that one girl, but she was so boyish... within error, if you know what I mean. 2. [a quite feminine woman celebrity] is sexy, I would love to lie next to her and cuddle, that girl came out as lesbian, it's okey, it's okey to feel this way 3. Am I staring at her butt? You're a girl, you moron. Girls don't do that. *a couple of days later a friend makes a joke about my orientation :dry:* That dream, I can't deny it, it was too straightforward to ignore. Am I falling for her? OMG, she sees it, everyone sees it. She doesn't like me back. I'm in trouble 4. That bi girl is hitting on me, and my knees melt, I fell head over heels for her, I'm confused. That guy is not so interesting. I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I don't care you don't have sperm, although anxiety about it is eating me. 5. And then... hm... after this incident, I think I stabilised at "mostly lesbian", although I'm not sure, and very confused. Now I'm getting those thoughts again, that parents, life, death, what if I don't date women and I'm gonna regret it, but I'm so worried I'm not going to have kids, but if it's my main preference, but I can fall for a guy, so why try it, and what if I try and I will not ever want to be with a man again, what about my gradma, I'm scared, and if I want to meet some girls, I have to go out of my way a bit, because most of them are straight and going somewhere LGBT, it would require that, on one hand I'm scared as hell, I'm not gay, I can turn out to be straight, and nobody is going to accept my coming out, because I didn't "always know", and what if guys think I'm lesbian and won't invite me out, but I don't know if I don't want to give it a try really badly, I can make myself mute that part of my sexuality and live a normal straight life, I'm bi in the end, but what if I regret it, but I'm dying when I think of coming out to the public, and what if... what if... I'm worried. :help:
That's the real struggle with bisexuality; you feel like you have to convince people of it. I can look pretty butch a lot of the time, and when I meet new people, I feel like I have to make sure I slip in the conversation that I'm bisexual so they don't assume I'm a lesbian. It's difficult and it's the monosexual society that we live in, unfortunately. Sexuality is a spectrum; rarely anyone is 100% straight or gay, or 50% straight and 50% gay. It's just not realistic. Just because you find that you're more attracted to one gender over another doesn't make your bisexuality any less valid. I myself have found I'm more interested in women, but I know for sure I'm still attracted to me. And let me just say that anyone you're interested in, guy or girl, who can't accept you for who you are, bisexuality and all, isn't worth it in the end. There's always adoption when it comes to having children, and some people don't come out of the closet until they're middle-aged or older! It's okay that you didn't always know. Many of us didn't. It doesn't make you any less valid. Best of luck to you.
Bisexual and heteroromantic... me too! We were made for each other. I think the dilemma (in the literal sense) here is the worry that whichever way one goes for lifetime commitment, the other one will forever call with the siren's sound. Me, I'd let my wife have a girlfriend, I mean even a real head-over-heels love. It would be good for her! I wouldn't even ask to join. (That's tacky.) The challenge is that the third party tends to get possessive, or the first party (me) starts to worry about the third party being possessive. But times are changing. You may be able to have your cake and eat it too. (Heh pun intended.) Good luck!
Thank you for your replies. I just think. I'm too worried. I decided to just go with the flow and do what I want in the given moment. I think that if I was happy with the person I was with , I wouldn't care if I "lost" "the other half". Because probably this person would have what I like about both sexes. I wouldn't be able to go poly. Nah. I am posessive about my partners, and wouldn't do like to make my partner feel this way.
I see that I didn't read your first post carefully enough, especially point number 4. I see that this is a tougher dilemma than "I could marry straight and have a girlfriend too." I'm glad about your decision, your reasoning sounds good. I hope you can slow the spinning mind, that (oh yes me too) thinks too much. And, cheers! I was born in London, though I'm in the States now. Suddenly feeling like emigrating though...
