So after reading some information I might be Demi-sexual. I used to have animosity towards the person I'm interested in. I have always formed emotional connections with people. When I like someone it is because I have formed an emotional connection to someone So here it is From moment I met her I just felt indifferent to her. She tried a cool laid back approach to me to get me let me guard down but I wouldn't budge. I got the vibe off her that she knew I was guarded. I feel she bulldozed me into something I didn't want and I felt taken advantage of. I spent days fretting over how I would pull off what I promised her. She went out on the limb for me and now that I have cut off contact with her she probably feeling jilted. Going to her may wind me up stranded or two and half hour car ride with her harping on me. And some how this has manifested itself into and emotional connections. Doubt she feels the same way about me and probably highly frown upon the fact I'm questioning. Also it's a professional relationship involving contracts so it wouldn't not be good. Sorry I just needed to get some stuff off my chest. Not being very direct
Hi Shasta, So were you actually in a relationship? Did something happen between you or is it that you discussed the possibility and promised stuff you never felt able to go through with? Do you feel attracted to her now? In what way did you leave things? Do you think she's even going to want to talk? Sorry for nothing but questions - just trying to get a picture of things!
Unless there is something I'm not getting, nothing in what you've described has anything to do with sexual orientation. Further, there is no credible evidence cw that 'demisexuality' is anything other than a part of the ordinary spectrum of human connection, whether you are Herero or homosexual. Plenty of people don't feel strong connection to someone until they get to know them, nothing remotely unusual about that. If anything, I'd suspect that what you are describing has more to do with your psychological perception of connection than to sexual orientation.
Demisexuality, if it were to truly exist, would mean that you feel no attraction to anyone unless you've known them for several years. It would mean that you feel asexual with no indication of sexuality until you meet the right person. It would mean that you cannot go on dates with people, since it can take over 15 dates to even feel a spark or interest with that person. This doesn't sound like true demisexuality. True demisexuality is extremely rare and makes relationships next to impossible to form since you have no interest in people or sex until several years of friendship (which by that time, most people are uninterested). With you it sounds more like you just need a small emotional connection, which is absolutely normal in women. Most women do not drop their panties at the sight of an attractive person as we are less visual as a gender. We need more emotional intimacy than that. It's 100% normal for the female gender.
Yeah, I don't think demisexuality is an actual sexual orientation either. I've only heard it described as people who thought they were asexual until they met the right person, but they didn't want to leave the "asexual" label. That's why they thought this one up. However, I think the demisexual label is causing more trouble than It's worth. The emotional connection thing is pretty normal for most people, especially since some people define it as "I won't sleep with a stranger", which is normal for most of us. And not everyone finds strangers hot or attractive either. A lot of women especially tend to prefer personality traits. I think hook-up culture is mostly to blame for this sort of thing. People in the media over exaggerate our culture of casual sex and college parties, so now anyone who doesn't want to drop their pants immediately on a date feel "abnormal". But yet It's really not abnormal at all.
However, I think the demisexual label is causing more trouble than It's worth. The emotional connection thing is pretty normal for most people, especially since some people define it as "I won't sleep with a stranger", which is normal for most of us. And not everyone finds strangers hot or attractive either. A lot of women especially tend to prefer personality traits. I think hook-up culture is mostly to blame for this sort of thing. People in the media over exaggerate our culture of casual sex and college parties, so now anyone who doesn't want to drop their pants immediately on a date feel "abnormal". But yet It's really not abnormal at all.[/QUOTE] Yes we are in "hook up" culture I'm type of person that no matter who you are I like would to get know you. Hook up with random person makes me feel animosity and messes with my sense of self. I want to have meaningful relationship with someone.
Then you are probably completely normal. A lot of people feel that way, including me. I wouldn't worry!
