Hello! This is my first post and the main reason I've made an account here. While I absolutely understand that sexuality labels aren't mandatory, this has been REALLY weighing on my mind for quite a long time, and I would seriously appreciate receiving additional input. Sorry in advance for the length, I just really want to get this out because it's the first time I've spoken up about it since my doubt began years ago. So, to sum up my feelings towards the two sexes: Women - definitely physically attracted to them, CONSTANTLY have wished for a girlfriend throughout most of my life. Lesbian pornography and fantasizing about being with women does it for me, whereas heterosexual pornography makes me feel ill. My only hang-up about the idea of being with a woman is that I have extremely, EXTREMELY low self esteem especially about body image (my therapist said I'm the most unconfident person she's ever met) and I feel like I would compare myself with another woman too much, thinking that I'm inferior to her, and would essentially feel like I'm not "good enough" to have sex with her. My knee-jerk feeling to, say, pictures of an attractive woman is more "I want to be her and I hate that I'm not her" rather than "I'm sexually attracted to her." So in a way, I somewhat can't imagine myself being with a woman, but I can recognize that this is due to my internal issues vs lack of attraction. I haven't done anything with a female yet (really shy/I'm a young adult and inexperienced) except a date gone wrong with one I wasn't attracted to whatsoever which I don't count, but I have had crushes on some friends. Men - I've dated two males but I don't think I was ever in love -- sure, I had fun with them in the beginning, but I doubted myself very often and feel like I probably jumped into the relationships too quickly out of loneliness. While I can think of men I find REALLY attractive, I'm honestly really repulsed by male genitals and ejaculation (which has come up in my previous relationships and the guys agreed that it made them feel bad on occasion). I enjoyed physical contact with males except things directly relating to their penises (although PIV could be ok if I didn't think too much about it) -- but if it matters, I was on the passive side. Aka, I'd enjoy them doing things to me, but I didn't have much of an urge to touch them much or take initiative except kissing or cuddling. Their nude bodies didn't give me any feeling either, if anything kind of turned me off (and not because they both had bad body types or anything). I feel more of a "pull" towards flirting with males instead of females, however, but this may be because 1. as I saw someone on this subforum mention, I've internalized that male attention is what women should seek to get, and 2. I don't have the pressure of comparing myself to a man as directly as I would with a woman, and 3. of course there's a bigger chance they're straight vs a woman being queer = safer to get attention/validation from via flirting. So in short, I'm not sure if I'm genuinely attracted to men. Again, sorry for how long this post is, but it'd mean a lot to hear someone's opinion as to whether they would consider me lesbian or bisexual!
Hmmm, I would probably consider you a bisexual definitely. You can find men romantically attractive (you like cuddling with them and stuff) but you're no big fan of their genitals and the like. That is completely normal. The way you talk about girls I would definitely say you are attracted to them at least, and I am very sorry for your low self esteem, with time that will sort itself out I am sure. But yea, men seems to be your problem here, but I think you might have feelings for the male gender also, just not neccessarily in a very sexual way. Hope it at least helped a bit! Good luck with everything ^^
