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Am I weird?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by wilson00, Nov 7, 2016.

  1. wilson00

    Regular Member

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    I have been having a hard time with what kind of label to use for myself. I am only interested in dating women, but it is not something I have always known about myself. Growing up, I thought I wanted to date guys, but recently(like last year and a half) realized that I've never felt the same attraction to them as I do towards women. This makes me feel like I should identify as a lesbian, but for some reason that just doesn't feel right. I feel much better saying gay or queer, because they feel less limiting. Am I weird for feeling this way? I wonder if part of it is feeling like i don't deserve to call myself a lesbian since I haven't always known, or since I have never actually dated (anyone of any gender)
     
  2. CubbieBlue

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    You're not weird. Many people don't like labels. Maybe you don't want any label at all. or maybe you feel that one doesn't fit you appropriately. or maybe you just haven't identified as any label yet. Give it time. No need to rush how you feel or to label yourself. Of course for other (myself included) labeling yourself might help you clear things up. But it took me a time to identify as a bisexual man.
     
  3. Ellis39

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    This doesn't sound weird to me and actually sounds very similar to my own experiences. I didn't realize I was attracted to women at all until I was about 17 or 18 and didn't start identifying as gay until about a year later and then slowly became comfortable with the word lesbian.

    I don't know if it's the same for you, but I think for me part of this discomfort came from the fact that (straight) people often use lesbian with a kind of derogatory tone of voice, and it took me a while to stop seeing it as a negative term.

    It may just take time as you get used to your new identity, or you may never want to use it at all (I know of plenty of gay/queer women who don't like the word lesbian, and I still prefer to just say that I'm gay, although I also identify as a lesbian; gay just somehow feels/sounds better to me).
     
  4. beenthrdonetht

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    Completely understandable, but... nobody says people don't deserve to call themselves straight if the haven't dated/kissed/made out/etc. with the opposite gender. How do they know? They just do. Just ask them. :slight_smile:

    Also, like everyone here, we don't like labels. It sometimes helps to use verbs -- I like girls -- rather than nouns -- I am a whatever.