So, I'm not out - like on a wide-scale. Just to a couple of people. That's a struggle on it's own, and I've already posted about that. However, "what I am" (i.e., my label) is more confusing... I've thought for a long time that I'm gay. Since I was a small child, I've dealt with fuzzy feelings around certain guys that later I established as attraction, both romantically and physically. However, sometimes I think I might be bi. I AM attracted to women. But, not necessarily in a physical/sexual way. Definitely romantic/emotional. I have always presented as a masculine man. I know I'm not trans. I identify solidly as a man. But, I do have a love of glamour and beauty and some feminine things (I have a huge love for drag - which is a different discussion for another time) I would love to be able to dress up from time to time in a more feminine way - maybe even in a dress, if I was brave enough and the time was right. However, like I said 95% of the time I'm very masculine. I'm just - flamboyant, I guess. Loud. The type that's constantly putting on a one-man broadway show in the bathroom mirror. So, all that to say, my life is very confusing. I know that labels aren't everything. But I genuinely don't know what I'm feeling and what label I fall under... Anyone who's been there, done that?
I think this is why so many embrace "queer" and why so many of us are grateful for the introduction of more flexible language like "fluid" Welcome Sexuality is complicated, like all colors of the rainbow It liberates us all a little more, the more each of us and all of us face that we just dont fit into pigeon holes
You do you. Don't bother with the labels. Humans have a tendency to want to categorize and label everything. Well, guess what - nature didn't create things with the intentions of slapping on a name to it. Things just exist as they are, fluidly, with no restrictions. You are a magnificent being that is meant to walk this earth doing what you do best, and you definitely don't need a label to do it.
I have certainly been there, done that. Even down to the One Man Shows! When I first came out, (and before, and after for a while, when I first came out), I was obsessed with finding my label. (Admittedly it was a bit more complex because I had internalised homophobia, but that's another story...) I eventually realised I was Gay, but that was after being out (to a very few) as Bi. I think what I realised was that descriptors for romantic and sexual attraction, like all words and labels, have definitions but they can be varied. From what you've said, I'd say your Gay, and possibly Biromantic. But maybe it's that you can just have strong platonic relationships with females. All in all only you can decide, but you sound very normal, so I wouldn't get too stressed. That just makes life worse. By all means question and try to find your label. It will come eventully. I know, I've been there. :icon_wink
Well I am in love with my wife, she's my best friend and I love having sex with her. But I also like sex with guys but I don't fancy them, nor do I like kissing or bodily contact with other men. It is simply the genital contact I like with men, so I'm struggling to label myself.
It sounds like you may be finding one gender is the subject of your sexual orientation, and another is the subject of your romantic orientation. This suggests "bi" to me, but that would probably be pretty simplistic and premature at this stage. Especially in the US we tend to want to lump masculine and feminine traits entirely under separate labels, but I think the reality (and the rest of the world is a little less gender label-obsessed I think) is that gender is more fluid. "Queer" is a good word for it, if you can use that word without negative baggage. No matter what the label, I hope you find comfort and pride in just being who you are without a need to prematurely label or judge.
