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Denial

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by PanPrideLgbt, Nov 10, 2016.

  1. PanPrideLgbt

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    Everyday, I find myself denying my bisexual identity. This makes me uncomfortable because I know deep in my heart that I'm bisexual. I want to accept this and live with myself. I'm out and feel great but I'm completely lost on why I'm in denial. Maybe you're in the same situation as I am. If you are, and feel comfortable, feel free to acknowledge it and comment your insights.
     
  2. renard

    renard Guest

    I know I often find myself feeling the need to justify my bisexuality to myself whenever I'm attracted to someone. That is, I'll be into a guy at some point (am I really attracted to girls?) or I'll really like a girl I know (am I bisexual? do I like boys at all?), to the point that if I'm not totally unsure of my sexual identity, I tend to put some guilt on myself regardless of who I'm attracted to at any moment.

    For your question, I might be able to help more if you talked more about what you mean about "denial." Are you unsure of your sexual identity? Or sure and just unsure about being out as such? What are the situations or thought processes where you're finding yourself uncomfortable here?
     
  3. PanPrideLgbt

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    I am 110% sure that I am bi. When I came out, I felt great and everything and things were and continue to be great for me. Maybe it's because I came out too early or something. Denial was probably the wrong the word choice but I could not think of a better way to say it. Honestly, I deny my sexuality at work, especially when I'm on break. My company isn't discriminatory or anything but something about my coworkers makes me say I'm straight when I know full well that I'm bi. Hopefully I accept myself more fully as time goes on.
     
  4. findingjoy

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    I felt the exact same way about being gay. When I accepted myself I felt incredibly happy, a warm feeling washed over me, I felt alive.. in denial I was anxious and fighting it.

    I think the denial came for me when I tried to imagine being gay all at once - from outwardly straight in the closet to walking down the street holding my boy friend's hand. It was too much.

    Posters here suggested taking baby steps. That has helped. The anxiety has gone away as has the denial.

    Is there anything that triggers denial?
     
  5. falconfalcon

    falconfalcon Guest

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    Location:
    nothing
    imminent danger sure will

    fear

    insecurity


    peer pressure...

    you name it :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. ella25

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    This right here! The denial could be a way of you trying to protect yourself from potential judgement, insecurities, fear of how LGBTQ people are being treated and spoken of in social media/ politics/ religion etc. The main way I came out of my denial was discussing my sexuality as a normal, exciting thing. Not something that should be treated with caution. Easier said than done, I understand.

    Try self-reflecting on what is driving the denial. Is it a sense of fear, anxiety, nervousness of trying something new with relatively little experience? I found mine was a bit of fear and anxiety but mostly the nervousness of making myself completely vulnerable to a path I hadn't walked before.

    You've had an amazing journey so far so don't take that away from yourself:thumbsup:
     
  7. Quantumreality

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    Hey PanPrideLgbt,

    If you are "110% sure" you're Bi, is it discomfort with the idea of knowing you are Bi as opposed to denial?