Okay, I'm really confused. I know labels shouldn't matter very much, but it would be really comforting to me to know what I am anyways just so I can identify with others like me. So far I feel like demi is the closest I identify as, but I'm not 100% sure. I can find people I've never met before attractive, but I would NEVER want to have sex with them unless there was a lot of romance and trust between us. (I seriously do not understand the concept of one-night stands and things like that.) I'm not sure I'm even comfortable with having sex with someone I do love and trust, though; the whole thing just scares me. I don't even like most casual forms of physical contact. However, I can find someone aesthetically attractive, and even romantically pursue them on that alone. Only if their personality as nice as their looks, though; if their jerks I don't care how hot they are, that kills the romance. It's not that I can't enjoy any kind of sexual pleasure, but it's really only when I'm masturbating. I might even fantasize about someone I really like when I do it. Aside from that, I'm barely comfortable hugging people. What does this make me? Because all the descriptions of demisexual I've found so far tell me that it's only if you're physically attracted to someone after an emotional bond has been formed. Again, that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them, I just get all fluttery and nervous because of how cute I find them. PLEASE HELP!
What you're describing is textbook classic ordinary hetero/homo/bi/pansexual attraction. Quite a few people would never want to have sex with anyone they didn't know, and quite a few people who don't have a lot of experience with sex (and some who do) find it intimidating and scary. And the fluttery/nervous thing is something that practically everyone experiences. If you think about it, having sex with someone is about the most intimate, vulnerable thing that one human being can do with another. What you're describing has nothing to do with sexual orientation. It's behavioral/psychological and likely comes from the patterns you observed and experienced in your upbringing. It certainly isn't anything hardwired, and it doesn't require any sort of special label... it's well within the ordinary scope of human sexual expression. So... no special label needed. Now... if it's something you want to work on, then seeing a therapist could help you explore, understand, and let go of the limitations that stand in the way of emotional and physical intimacy. In fact, that's relatively easy to do with a good therapist and something that many clients seek out therapy to address. I hope this helps!
