For all you women who absolutely love other women, how do you deal with this sentence? It's basically the throwback my mother always gives me and it gives her the last word, because technically no, I don't know if I will even end up with a woman or a man. How do you deal with people acting like it's a phase, or that it's just ''not you''. It's because of this I am not open and about with my love life or just my sexuality in general within our family. We don't talk about it (It's like that silence that's hanging in the air but everyone is ignoring it). Even if I face problems with it, I just don't tell it anymore because it always ends up like that. Afterwards I get accused of being defensive when I try and explain that up till now I've never felt anything for guys, but I have for girls. Basically trying to say that we need to focus on the present and not the future. ''You just need to stay with an open mind, I don't want you to get closed off'' What. to do.
I'm still accepting my sexuality and continuing to understand it. But I have even said this to myself and tried to seek out men. I have had boyfriends...The honestly and I think the best response is...I found guys that I love and I had deep feeling for...but beyond that the was like obstacle or wall. I could never get really sexually interested. The guys even notice that my emotions for them stopped at a certain point and I been called out by them all with the phrase of "You don't really have feelings for me." I always thought "what are they talking about?" But really I couldn't get beyond the deep love/feelings that would be equivalent to what you would have for a brother or a best friend or even a father. So my response is..."I have found the right guy a bunch of time, but nothing more could develop on my part. It is hard for me to really describe honestly..and I don't know if I did any justice with what I wrote. But, I have met the right men....I have met met that check off every point on what I would want in a human being and still a deep enough emotional feeling that i needed to be in a relationship beyond a friendship/family feeling just didn't happen. I had that a lot more with women. I am still in the acceptance stage, but I have no interest for men. It was even present when I was in high school and that wasn't too long ago. Girls I knew would look up and spend hours looking through images of handsome men...I did that with females.
I usually just say "Neither have you" if a man says it to me. Or you haven't met the right woman yet to women. Or you haven't met the right bald/hairy/old/fat/whatever their dealbreaker is person. A straight person will never get it no matter how much you explain. ---------- Post added 11th Nov 2016 at 07:39 PM ---------- As for the phase thing, I identified as heterosexual once myself. That was a phase. I like to tell straight people the same thing: "Your heterosexuality could just be a phase. Keep an open mind and don't write the same sex off." The everyone is bisexual crap applies to everyone. There are VERY few kinsey 0's and 6's in the world (and I say this as a 6 myself).
Personally I'd just say "it's because I have an open mind is why I have made the life choices I have".
Best reaction I've found, turn it into humor. "Nope because the best MAN for me is a WOMAN." or "nah, haven't decided what body I want HER in yet."
I don't mean to be flippant or silly, but if my dad told me that I had "just not met the right woman yet," I would be so tempted to say "oh, so you were gay until you met the right woman?!"
