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Can you be gay but still enjoy sex with women and like straight porn?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by confusedjoe, Nov 14, 2016.

  1. confusedjoe

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    Hello, I am back again.

    I feel that I am gay (only have been questioning that for the past 2 months) because my attraction to men is extremely deep and visceral.

    However, if I watch straight porn, I can still get aroused. If I start off with gay porn and then switch to straight porn, my arousal immediately declines but is still present. But if I just start off with straight porn, I can get normally aroused. This happens mostly with anal sex with women... sometimes vaginal, but that's difficult. I don't care to be the guy in the porn or the girl, I just get visually turned on by what I am seeing. I don't want to do it in real life - I just want to watch it. If I just see a girl's vagina alone or her playing with herself, it actually leads to some repulsion (no offense, girls.) I'm really sorry to sound vulgar, but I just like seeing a penis going into a hole. So sorry. Then again... I have also seen animals having sex and that aroused me, too, and I obviously do not want to have sex with an animal. It's just the idea of sex.

    Another thing is, I have sex with fiancee who is a woman, and I love it. What I think the explanation for this though is that sex in general feels good... whether it's with your hand, a fruit, girl, guy, dildo, etc. But the fact that I do love my fiancee makes it 100x better. If we were broken up, I would only seek relationships with men, though. If another girl wanted to have sex with me, it would be like, "Sure, why not?" But only if I was super horny. The way I see it is that it would just be sex... I could be doing it in my room with my hand, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to my hand? But I have heard several gay guys say that they could not do it with a woman. I feel like I could and I would enjoy it, simply because it is SEX.

    Another way to possibly explain how I am feeling is that sex with a girl would simply be for masturbation purposes, it would be just the sex. But sex with a guy would be for the whole damn experience and I get hot just talking about it!

    My question is... does this make me bisexual? Does anyone else experience similar things?
     
  2. CameOutSwinging

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    Here's my question - does it matter if you'e gay or bi? What difference does it make? From what you've said, you sound like you lean far more towards men both sexually and romantically (or at least you desire to romantically), so it sounds like you should explore being in relationships with men.

    I actually think you and I have all of this in common. I've often said at this point in my life, if my ex-fiancee wasn't in the picture, I'd have no qualms about being with men entirely. I would not date women again. I'm with you though, I love having sex with my ex (especially when things are going well and we're really connected emotionally). And I loved having sex with my girlfriend before her. I've never just had a fling with a girl, and don't really have the desire to. But could I? I'm more than sure I could. I enjoy sex, it feels good, and I get aroused by the whole idea of sex. So even some random girl I don't know, I could probably have quite a bit of fun with. I've just never felt the need to test the theory.

    Porn isn't the best indicator of sexuality. So don't try to base anything on what you like to watch and not watch.

    Like I said, I think the question worth exploring is why does it matter if you're gay or bi?Like me, we can safely say you're not straight. Do you want to be bi because it means getting to stay with your fiancee?
     
  3. Totesgaybrah

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    I feel very similar to both of you, I can be aroused by both but I feel way more both physically and romantically for men, so because I don't ever see myself being with a woman I am going with the gay label but I could also be bi. I went with gay just to simplify things.

    Ultimately labels do not matter all that much.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    It sounds like you're bisexual but strongly prefer men. Or you could just be homoflexible. Who knows
     
  5. DAFriend

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    Well, to be blunt, if you're horny enough, a backdoor is a backdoor. Now vaginally with women, I'd go homofelxible or maybe bi but, if anal and oral (you receiving) then, I'd lean toward gay.

    As for the fiance, yeah, when emotions get in the mix, things can change and, it might be great with her and, no other woman. One of my FWBs is gay, except with me but there, it's because of the emotional bond we share and because I don't identify as female or male and, he is male leaning genderqueer himself so, it works.

    ---------- Post added 15th Nov 2016 at 12:55 PM ----------

    Well, to be blunt, if you're horny enough, a backdoor is a backdoor. Now vaginally with women, I'd go homofelxible or maybe bi but, if anal and oral (you receiving) then, I'd lean toward gay.

    As for the fiance, yeah, when emotions get in the mix, things can change and, it might be great with her and, no other woman. One of my FWBs is gay, except with me but there, it's because of the emotional bond we share and because I don't identify as female or male and, he is male leaning genderqueer himself so, it works.
     
  6. Totesgaybrah

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    I should clarify that I don't feel romantic attraction towards women.
     
  7. seeking

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    I think if you enjoy sex with women, could see yourself being sexual with a woman again and enjoy it, and also have some emotional fulfillment...then I would say you are bisexual or have the capability to have sex with both males and females.

    While I am not a male..and I never experienced sex as a male...my advice/opinion stops there.

    But for me I don't care if I have sex with a man...it's not something I look forward to or really care to get involve in. I get no emotional fulfillment from it and I don't feel comfortable.

    **I'm female by the way**
     
  8. gravechild

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    There's a difference between arousal and attraction. Under the right circumstances, yes, a gay man can sleep with a woman (and vice versa), but it won't be as fulfilling as with another man.

    You say you love your fiance and sex with her, but otherwise would pursue men... that seems to speak for itself. "Deep and visceral; hot just thinking about it" is also pretty telling. To my dismay, most straight guys are crazy for the v (not me).

    Hey, sex is hot, regardless of orientation! I know straight women who watch lesbian porn, lesbians who watch gay male porn, gay men who watch straight porn, etc.
     
  9. confusedjoe

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    I read two of your threads about "coming out later in life" and found them extremely interesting. The more recent one (I think) you talked about feeling less depressed about being straight. I noticed that that was a few years ago, I think!

    How have you been nowadays? Do you feel comfortable in identifying in any label?