First a little bit about me... I am a 26 year old woman. I have known that I love and am attracted to women for as long as I remember, before I even understood what sexuality meant! I have been in many relationships of both sexes (mainly casual with women), both casual and serious. I have tried it all... Needless to say, I have only ever been sexually attracted to women. I am in a monogamous relationship with a man that I love dearly for two years. He knows I am bisexual, but he doesn't think that I am bisexual since I am only with him.. This is where the problems arise. He is amazing in almost every way. He is my best friend and there is no lack of communication in our relationship. Except for sex. We are unable to discuss anything sex related. I have a high libido and he can go an entire month without sex. It's quite difficult because I can never discuss any of this with him because it makes him uneasy. I have needs and urges that I am starting to feel are way beyond him. I want to still be sexual with women to satisfy my needs, but I am unsure of how he would take that. We recently signed a lease for our apartment and we have a strong relationship. I should have listened to the little voice in my head that kept telling me to not sign the lease, but now we are in the lease for another 10 months. The other problem is I have been doubting my sexuality my whole life. There is a part of me buried deep inside that tells me I am a lesbian. I am not physically or sexually attracted to men, but my boyfriend just became my best friend and I feel that I got comfortable with the situation because it felt safe. I only think about women. I often wonder what it would be like to be in a full fledged relationship with a woman. When I have been with women, I always felt like the more dominant one and the nurturer. I know this whole post is becoming jumbled because my thoughts are now flying all around me as I am typing this. I am just tired of not feeling the touch of a woman and not knowing what to do about it. I am torn between my morals and doing what is right for me. I am afraid that if I suggest an open relationship, he will take it the wrong way. I don't want to hurt him and lose him... But I don't believe I am bisexual and it's causing me to get more depressed as this relationship keeps going. I would appreciate advice from people who have been in similar situations. I don't have any friends to talk to about this and I figured I would give this a shot.
