Hi everyone, I've been thinking about my sexual identity. I hope you guys can help me I think I'm bisexual (or bicurious, Idk? Gender fluid? Idk there's so many labels that I get so confused) Although I have only gone out with guys. I do flirt with boys and girls alike, the latter I'm not sure if I'm just being playful or "too" friendly or just very appreciative or because deep inside, I'm attracted to the same sex. People think I'm bisexual which I have sometimes deny (because I do not know) or sometimes accept (to play with their heads or I do not know). In fact, I even joke about it because I want to find out their reaction. I'm not sure what my sexual identity is or how I should label myself. Should I even label myself? Or there will come a time when I would just "know" I'm not sure if my attraction for another girl is just admiration (the so-called "girl crush") or I really want to date another girl? How do I figure this out? I've kissed girls before (friends/dare) but it was just like a "meh" experience. But recently, there is this girl who I am really attracted to. I don't really care if I found out I'm bisexual or if I tell people that i'm one - I mean I just want to be sure before I identify myself as one. Or am I just stressing out and just let things be? Please help me!!!
To answer your main question, it depends on if you want to label yourself or not. At the end of the day, some people just let themselves be attracted to people without thinking too much about it. To others, a label is important because it defines a part of your identity. It depends on what you want to do, and if you don't want to label yourself, then please don't feel pressured to. Definitely do not stress about your orientation, it is something that some people take a while to figure out - obsessing about it won't make it easier. Give yourself time to understand how you feel about people and what label to use, if you want to use one. It could be that you have very slight attraction to girls. It could also be that this girl is the "one-off" for you - it can happen for someone of any sexuality. Have you been attracted to other girls in the past? Do you feel a desire to hang around with them, get butterflies in your stomach, cuddle them, kiss them, be emotionally close, protect them, have them feel the same to you (possibly only you), etc.? Not necessarily all of those things, but those are the sorts of feelings I tend to have if I'm attracted emotionally to someone. Have you felt any sort of sexual desires in the past towards girls - wanting to kiss them in a more passionate way, or do sexual activities together, or becoming aroused if you think of them in a sexual way (not whilst viewing porn, that's a very inaccurate indicator)? Keep in mind, being attracted to girls doesn't mean that you will have a reaction to EVERY girl that you see - straight women do not want to date/have sex with every man they see, and lesbian women/bisexual women are the exact same with regards to the genders they like. I don't really know what separates a bicurious person from a bisexual person, so I'm afraid I can't answer your question there. Gender fluid isn't used in the context of sexual orientation, at least as far as I understand it. It's a gender identity, where the person's gender shifts between two or more genders, often on a sliding scale or spectrum. There is a sexuality variant, though, which might be what you meant? It tends to just be called fluidity, or fluid - sometimes a person may feel more attracted to one gender over others (or exclusively), then it shifts to another, back and forth. People who this happens for seem to mostly use bisexual or fluid, or queer if they are comfortable with it.
Maybe detailing how I define myself will help you. Generqueer: I do not see myself as male of female, though I am AFAB, I am not agender (lacking gender) I do have a gender, the third gender, neither male nor female but, not without gender. Polyromantic: I can be romantically in love with more than one person at the same time and, doing so does not lessen the love I feel for anyone involved. Pansexual: Your gender does not matter to me. I find certain physical attributes attractive and, arousing, regardless of your gender and, mixed gender appearance is most attractive to me. Men in feminine makeup and male clothing, women in male clothing and no makeup, androgynous looks, etc...
You are stressing out too much. Relax. You don't have to put label on yourself at the moment. Why not focus on self-awareness to really know what's going on with you? Explore this feeling and see where it does take you. Same sex attraction is the same attraction you feel on opposite sex, whether it's only holding hands, cuddles or having sex in any form. What's important after your self discovery is self acceptance and loving yourself. Once you reach this stage, whip lashing from less friendly judgmental people will be easier for you to handle although I must say that you probably won't be immune to getting hurt. Good luck.
Crush is different and being bi curious. You had crushes but when you kissed them it was ok. However new girl your more attracted. For me crushes were like I want to kiss. Then come one girl who I want to sleep with and marry. That is the defining moment from just being girl crush to you are bisexual ( if you also enjoy sex with guys) . I guess the only way for you to know is when you actually kiss the one you really like. There is nothing wrong saying you are bi just means you are open to guys and girls. Label changes just as you learn more about yourself. Good luck!
