The evidence seems to point to me being bisexual. Everyone I have spoken to says they strongly doubt I am a lesbian. Yet I can't get the anxiety out of my head that I am truly a lesbian and will have to break up with my boyfriend. The anxiety comes and goes in waves, but when it's happening it's extremely debilitating and it makes me want to die. If I can't stop thinking about it, does that mean I'm a lesbian? How the hell can I get past this?
No, it doesn't, but it does mean you should speak with your doctor about your anxiety level. Get it treated before it becomes a big issue. As to the other part, you will probably feel more mental clarity when you are less anxious. That's at least usually true for me...
No. it simply means you can't stop thinking about it. You may have an anxiety disorder that's making life difficult for you in terms of thinking clearly. Speak to your doctor in the first instance. It will be nothing they haven't heard before.
Agree with everyone above. It seems more like an anxiety issue or you trying to come to terms with your sexuality. I think if you enjoy being with your boyfriend in every aspect from having him in your presence to the more intimate stuff. There is no need to break up with him. The question is...are you having anxiety about being 100% lesbian because you have no true feelings for him? If the answer is yes, the next question is have you ever had true feelings from him where you enjoyed being with him as a companion and in an intimate way? if the answer is no, then ask can you be comfortable with any man beyond a friendship? Might be best to talk it through with a friend, someone else who is LGB, or with a therapist.
You think you are bi yet everyone else seems to think you are lesbian. If you are attracted to women sexually and still attracted to your boyfriend or guys in general then you could be bisexual. However if you are not sexually attracted to guys (including your current boyfriend) then you would be a lesbian is you are only attracted to women sexually.
You can't stop thinking about it because nobody can stop thinking about sex & love and their place in it. OK, that's a bit of a flip comment but yes. And as you have discovered too much thinking leads to thinking about thinking, etc etc.. anxiety! I do agree with earlier posters, it could be that you are extra sensitive to anxiety, through nature or nurture. Therapy or meditation can help break that cycle. Do you feel like you were pushed out of an airplane and set on fire? Yes, that's anxiety. A cruel beast. Now on to the main question: if kissing your boyfriend gives you the feelz, you are probably not a complete lesbian. If you are attracted to women too (understandable!) that doesn't mean you need to break up. After all, even if you are straight as an arrow there are other boys out there, but you don't think their existence forces you to break up. Of course you might feel that if there is some unexplored territory you wouldn't want that to stay unexplored forever if you stay with your guy forever. But (sorry) face it: you probably won't. After that gloomy thought, a better one: you're totally normal. Yes, intense questioning is normal, esp. about this. At least you're asking the right questions. Now, if you obsessed about whether you prefer orange or red, to the point of wanting to die, that would be abnormal. Hang in there!
