Hi. I'm 21 and female and I've never really had a crush/been in love. I had a small crush on a girl when I was 15 except she was straight, but other than that...nothing. For a guy OR a girl. (I consider myself gay, but like...if a guy came around who I really liked, I wouldn't be opposed.) I've never gotten those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings from anybody and I've never constantly thought of someone like one might a crush. A friend of mine said maybe I'm asexual, but I am interested in sex (when the right person comes around.) I fooled around with one girl but she was someone I don't really know so I just wasn't into it; it was fun but I'd really rather be with someone who I'm interested in. Honestly, I wouldn't feel so embarrassed and horrible about the idea of just being single and possibly not interested in a relationship but my mom makes it seem so freaky, like if I don't get a serious relationship by a certain point that there's something wrong with me, etc. Because she doesn't understand that type of thing. I feel like my mom is judging me and thinking I'm a loser. It's not like she hasn't thought that before because I don't act how she feels is "normal."
I would definitely explore asexual and aromatic. I'm sorry your mom's being judgmental that's never fun. There is nothing wrong with you.
Yeah, I've always thought asexuality is like...where you aren't interested in sex at all. I'm not familiar with aromantic though. I'll look that up. Thank you. :icon_bigg
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you; you are a great and wonderful person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or make you feel bad, f**k them! Now, everyone is a little bit different, some people are much more prone to feeling "amor fou" than others. Maybe you haven't encountered the right type of person to make you feel that way, and really aren't aware of what that type is. Even if you never feel "madly in love" it doesn't mean you are ANY less of a person.
"it was fun but I'd really rather be with someone who I'm interested in." That pretty much says it all. You're down with the mechanics of it, but where's the love? Being interested in someone is one of the greatest feelings. The world has an amazing variety of people... somebody must be interesting. Get out there! Sorry about your mom's expectations. I hope that she comes around if she sees you happy in a good relationship.
Why rush if you haven't found the right one, just be happy single. When you do then they will help you figure out who you really are. Sex is always best when you are in love. Sex slurring lust is the enjoyable but it's never last as love does.
