This is my my sexual orientation, and i'm worried it's affecting my relationship. Please bare with me, for this is a long, crazy, and honestly confusing thread. This is my story, and I've never told anyone. I'm 22 years old, and i'm currently dating a girl. We've been dating for a year and a half, but i've known her for eight years. Here's the catch, we were both cat-fishing each other. Before we go any further, I wasn't allowed to have any social media at 14 years old, but all of my friends and classmates had it. I created a fake Myspace page. Being 22 years old i realize that it wasn't right, obviously, and i've made sure to right my wrongs. I met (We'll call her billy.) For about 6.5 of the years i've known billy, billy pretended to be a guy. I knew he was fake, i just had no idea that he was really a she. Granted we talked on the phone, she sounds like a guy so i was totally fooled. I finally after years found her facebook, i found everything out by myself, and i called her out on it. She didn't say much, she didn't say anything at all. At that point i was over it. I was over the long distance, i was over the not knowing. I was ready to be happy. About 2 months after i called her out on it, she asked me out. Honestly, i felt bad so i said yes, which i probably shouldn't have because she was still lying about who she was. From May until August, i was waiting on her to finally tell me who she was, and she finally did in August. The first year from May-May, i was so unbelievably in love and i was very, very happy. We went on our first vacation in June of this year, and since then i haven't been happy. I haven't been 100% happy. We live 8 hours away, we see each other about once a month, but facetime typically on a daily basis for hours at a time. Over the summer there were some difficulties i encountered, which didn't help my happiness. Stress at my job, stress at home, stress with my relationship. I had nowhere to turn. I was stuck. I'm still stuck. Recently i've been wishing and hoping i could just figure out if i'm still bisexual, lesbian, whatever it is that i am. I love her. I love her with my whole heart and i don't want to hurt her. She's my best friend, and i honestly don't see myself with anyone else. But my heart is in such discontent that i can't tell if this was a phase and now it's done, or if i need to focus on other aspects, or what. I need advice from people that don't know either of us. I need something to help me. I'm so heartbroken over this. My family loves her. They absolutely adore her, and thinks shes perfect. I don't want to hurt her, or my family. My entire life, i grew up thinking i would marry a man, and have children and be happy. And now i'm rethinking everything. And not to be religious or anything because i'm not... but my biggest fear is "if gays get into heaven" My whole life i grew up believing they wouldn't, then believing they would, and now i'm here and once again, i'm stuck. I'm sorry if this is scattered. I haven't talked about it honestly to anyone. I don't know how. I don't know if i'm falling out of love with her, or if theres too much damage because of the past. Any advice helps, and i appreciate all of the advice that comes through. Thank you so much!
