Hi, I am a 29 year old female and have never been in a relationship. When I was younger I was never really interested in being in a relationship and basically didn't really find myself attracted to anyone, or at least I didn't allow myself to give it much thought. During college I worked full time and basically worked and went to school with very little time for much else. Part of it I'm guessing is that I'm not the most confident person. Growing up I was a tomboy, played sports and the majority of my friends were guys. The friends that I had that were girls always thought it was odd or would say "really" if I ever said anything about liking a guy. Growing up I always pictured myself married to a man and having children. I have never really pursued anything in terms of a relationship and have always had the mind set of it will happen when it happens. Now as I am approaching 30 I am realizing that there is fault with that line of thinking. I have been exploring my feelings and have started to really question who I am attracted to. While doing so I am starting to think I might be a lesbian. I have a few friends who are gay and them being gay doesn't bother me, but if I start to think of myself in that way it makes me start to panic. I am not sure how some of my family might take me "coming out" if I ever do, but I know many of them would not approve. I know how they feel about it by witnessing their reactions to others who are gay or lesbian. I am still not completely sure what to do. I live in a small community and the thought of trying to date women seems almost impossible. 1 I don't know any lesbians who are out, and 2 the thought of someone I know finding out scares the hell out of me. Basically I don't know where to go from here. The idea of being single for life makes me quite sad. There have been hints thoughout my life that I have been interested in women, but I either didn't think much about it at the time, or I basically told myself it was wrong. Sorry if that was long and not quite to the point, but was wondering if anyone had any input. Thanks.
Hey there, I agree, it's not exactly fun to come to the realisation that you are a lesbian or at least mostly interested in girls after many years of ignoring and working around really quite vital cues to your own identity. Especially while living under the assumption that you should only be attracted to men. I am there too right now. There will always be people who will take you being anything but straight badly, but if you wouldn't let someone else be treated that way based on something they had no control over, why let the same thing happen to you? It's not even about a lack of control. There is nothing wrong with being interested in the same gender as yourself. In an ideal world it would have the same sort of significance as being attracted to someone with blonde hair as opposed to dark. It hurts a lot when the people you care about can't accept a part of who you are, but the attraction in itself is not the problem. I can say from experience that I LIKE being attracted to girls. It's only ever other people's reactions that make me second guess myself. In terms of finding a girlfriend or other lesbian friends in your area, don't lose hope. Join all the dating sites and online communities that you can and remember that you aren't alone in this. Just send me a message if you'd like to talk.
Hey there, I agree, it's not exactly fun to come to the realisation that you are a lesbian or at least mostly interested in girls after many years of ignoring and working around really quite vital cues to your own identity. Especially while living under the assumption that you should only be attracted to men. I am there too right now. There will always be people who will take you being anything but straight badly, but if you wouldn't let someone else be treated that way based on something they had no control over, why let the same thing happen to you? It's not even about a lack of control. There is nothing wrong with being interested in the same gender as yourself. In an ideal world it would have the same sort of significance as being attracted to someone with blonde hair as opposed to dark. It hurts a lot when the people you care about can't accept a part of who you are, but the attraction in itself is not the problem. I can say from experience that I LIKE being attracted to girls. It's only ever other people's reactions that make me second guess myself. In terms of finding a girlfriend or other lesbian friends in your area, don't lose hope. Join all the dating sites and online communities that you can and remember that you aren't alone in this. Just send me a message if you'd like to talk.
I believe its possible to send someone a private message. If you go in to someone's profile there's a section labelled 'contact me' and I think a private message option.
Guess not.. Message Sending Error Sorry Wonderingwendy, you do not have permission to send that message. You can send messages to Advisors, Experts, Moderators and Administrators but not to Regular Members or Full Members. Please post in Ask The Mods if you need any help.
Hello there! I just noticed your post. You can send PMs to people, but first we require you to become a Full Member. This is pretty easy - you have to be here for at least 2 weeks and made 50 posts. After you've done that, you can apply via the form on the main page. This is just an added security feature to make sure everyone is using the forum for it's intended purpose. We have young people here and we want to protect them as much as possible! You can still send wall messages to other members though (similar to facebook posts) - click on their username, view their profile, and leave a message on their "wall". These messages are visible to the public, but most members communicate this way (at least until they get access to PMs). Hope this clears things up!
