Hey! First off I'd like to start by saying I'm new to the forum and I hope I'm using this correctly. I've come across quite sensitive people (not on empty closets) who attacked me (for example) for saying that wearing a dress is feminine. I really want to let you know, that I am definitely not trying to offend anybody. I'm just seeking for help and hope that you kind of understand what I'm trying to say here. Yeah, I have no idea what I am (sexuality wise) is the easiest way to put it. I'm an 18 year old female and growing up I also always felt like a girl. I also use the pronounce she/her. When I was a kid I wore (very cliche) only dresses, skirts and the colors pink and purple (back then my favorite colors). The older I got, let's say I was around 14, I began wearing more boyish clothing. No dresses, no skirts, nothing low cut, just simple t-shirts and button downs (anything that covered my boobs hah). I don't hate my breasts at all but I mostly want them not to be too visible. I have only one dress I'd wear in my possession but I hardly ever do. I still like the clothes in the girls section though and most of the time shop there anyway but style wise I guess I'm on the casual, elegant side that both females and males will rock, so unisex. Still I'm all mixed up - sometimes I feel more girlish, sometimes more boyish. I behave very in between as well. Also I don't know who I'm attracted to. I did say more often that I was heterosexual but I don't feel like that is true. It doesn't feel right to me when I say it. I've also only had one really short relationship with a boy before so how can I know. I've never been truly attracted to anybody but also don't feel like I'm asexual. I don't care about gender for the most. I'd date people if I truly like them no matter if they're female, male, transgender or whatever. I don't care what they are -if I love them, I love them. To me it's important to know, like and trust somebody. Otherwise I can't be in a relationship with them. I don't think I've expressed myself well enough in this text but maybe there is somebody who can understand what I was trying to say or maybe even have a similar feeling like I do. I'm not trying to label myself but I can't help but asking myself what my sexuality is (I mean we all end up asking this at some point haha) I hope I was somewhat understandable and I thank you for your answers in advance!
Hey there! You were completely understandable, and I get what you are going through. You're sexuality and gender don't have to be hand in hand at all, and you don't have to like girly stuff to be a girl. I definitely don't act like a "girl" or wear "girly" things, but I am a girl. Sure I'm not a girly-girl, but that doesn't make me any less a girl. However, if you don't think the label girl applies to you, than alright, that takes us to a whole other section of gender. It doesn't seem like you really identify as male, so maybe you are genderfluid or genderqueer. I am not really sure of the difference between those so you will have to look it up. And hey, most importantly, do what makes you happy. Maybe you think that you have no gender, than you might identify as agender. Most importantly, if labels don't help you, than don't have a label at all. There is no need to label your gender if you think you don't have one. Also, there is a name for liking all people no matter the gender. It is called pansexual/panromantic. Look into all of these, and if any of them resonate with you, than maybe that's where you will find an understanding of yourself. Best wishes, Mel
