First off, thanks for your response. I know nobody can tell me what I am for sure but I would like to hear what it sounds like in your opinion I am a 23 year old male. I have always been with girls and enjoyed being with them sexually and romantically. For the past year and a half or so I have been excessively worrying that I'm gay or bisexual. I really had no reason to other than possibly because I lost an erection with a girl. I remember worrying at times growing up because of the saying that people that are homophobic usually end up gay, even tho I really wasn't and am not homophobic. I began testing myself by thinking up sexual scenerious with guys and even viewing graphic pictures/porn. Or if I see an attractive guy I will stare at the picture until I can deem whether I'm attracted in that way or not. I never do this because I'm horny but as a way of checking. A couple times I did have a slight erection to viewing gay pornography but just didn't feel into it. I have always and continue to fantasize about women and focus on the girl while watching porn. The worrying stopped for a while but came back and the more that I think about it the more confused I become. I have never felt horny for a guy or desired to be with one, but yet I continue to worry and think that it must be a sign that I've worried for this long. When I'm in a good mood and not consumed with doubt and worry I feel pretty confident that I'm straight and that these thoughts are irrational and don't hold merit but then when I start worrying I just don't know. I don't want to try being a guy because it just feels uncomfortable and not like something I would want/be into. What does it sound like to you? Thanks in advanced
I don't know if it matters but I'm trying to be as detailed as I can. Whenever I catch myself daydreaming and fantasies it has always been to girls and can become aroused by just being next to a woman if I start having sexual thoughts play out in my head . The only times fantasizing about a guy is when I actively try to think of stuff about guys as a way of checking. Don't know if that helps anyone on giving their opinion but I figured I'd add it
Hey Worrysome1, Is the only reason you think you might be gay is because you lost an erection with a girl once? Nothing you wrote sounds remotely like you have an sexual or romantic attractions to men. Pornography is a very poor indicator of sexuality. A better indicator would be whom you fantasize about when you masturbate (without porn). Do you fantasize exclusively about women? Or both women and men? As far as the homophobia thing goes. Being homophobic in and of itself has nothing to do with homosexuality. What you are probably referring to is the fact that some of the most emphatically homophobic people tend to be people who are actually in deep denial and/or hiding their homosexuality. That doesn't seem to be an issue for you. I hope this helps.
Hey welcome to EC. You are right nobody can tell you what you are but from what you have said you sound straight to me. I know its difficult not to worry but I dont think there is any need to do so.
No, I wouldn't say that losing an erection that time is the sole reason for worrying but I think it probably added to it. I don't know why I worry so much, it has come up before and then just went away and then I started obsessing over it. Of course I can tell when a guy is attractive but I don't feel turned on for them or desire to be anything with them. When I masterbate without porn and just use fantasy it has always been to women. I tried it to guys for the sake of testing, but it felt awkward and not pleasurable at all. With girls it's exciting and well it gets me going. Nonetheless I always come back to worrying. By the way thanks for replying
Quantum, No, I wouldn't say that losing an erection that time is the sole reason for worrying but I think it probably added to it. I don't know why I worry so much, it has come up before and then just went away and then I started obsessing over it. Of course I can tell when a guy is attractive but I don't feel turned on for them or desire to be anything with them. When I masterbate without porn and just use fantasy it has always been to women. I tried it to guys for the sake of testing, but it felt awkward and not pleasurable at all. With girls it's exciting and well it gets me going. Nonetheless I always come back to worrying. By the way thanks for replying ---------- Post added 12th Dec 2016 at 02:03 PM ---------- Thank you for your response. Do you think being stuck on worrying about it is a sign of something within itself ?
Well, without knowing any other reason(s) that make you even consider that you might have attractions for men, nothing you've written about sounds remotely other than heterosexual. It doesn't seem like you should waste your time worrying about it any case. Just my 2cents.
I'm not sure of any real reason for it. Possibly noticing guys being attractive? while I don't feel attracted to them sexually I started feeling confused about the difference. Like I can't let it go. I know that everyone regardless of orientation or gender can tell who is "hot" and who isn't, but still.
Everybody can appreciate attractive/good-looking people of either gender. But if you don't feel a romantic or sexual attraction to any 'attractive' guys, there's nothing to indicate that you are other than heterosexual. If you keep obsessing over this, though, you might want to consider seeing a counselor. Even though you don't seem to have any issues with your sexual orientation, obsessing excessively over anything could be the result of other issues, such as OCD. If such obsessing impacts your daily life significantly, you should really consider getting counseling support.
I don't think it's sexual anyways. I've never felt turned on by being around a guy or anything like that and I don't find myself just dazing off fantasizing about any guy. Are there any other things I should look at to deem whether there is sexual attraction there. I've thought about the OCD thing. I'm a bad worrier but I don't really have OCD like symptoms to other things I don't think. Either way I think I counseled could be beneficial
No, you'd know if you were sexually attracted to guys. I don't think you sound like you have OCD, either, I was just using that as an example. If you find yourself a certified counselor to help you understand why you might have these episodes of obsessing over your sexuality, I definitely agree it could be beneficial for you. Good luck!
