Hello! As the title reads, I can't stop questioning my sexuality and it's really frustrating... A little while ago I had sex with a guy friend of mine who also happens to be my crush, and I really enjoyed it, both the intimacy and the pleasure. I couldn't orgasm, it was my first time and I was nervous, but I still enjoyed touching him/him touching me. Over all it was a good experience but during the sex I got some intrusive thoughts like "why can't I orgasm? Maybe Im a lesbian?!" et.c. really annoying thoughts as I just wanted to be be in the moment and enjoy it. I really like this guy and want to have sex with him again, but I don't want the stupid thoughts to disturb... The reason I'm questioning is also the fact that I used to watch a lot of lesbian porn and enjoy it, and I think female bodies are beautiful... I enjoy men's bodies, too, but I just don't know... I know this might sound stupid to most of you, but I can't get the thoughts out of my head. I don't want to get on with this guy and maybe hurt his feelings because I'm confused. :icon_sad: But really, I see myself as bisexual (but probably heteroromantic) and that's not an issue to me, but my mind keeps thinking in black and white and it makes me feel doubt, and the doubt is the worst part of it all. I might also say I have never been with a woman and I don't really want to either, I think it would only make my confusion worse if I found out that I liked it. But the problem in itself is not whether I'm a lesbian or not really, it's more a problem where my mind keeps obsessing and I can't get out of it. Does any of you have any advice to give to stop thinking this way? Any answer is appreciated!
hi there,, I don't know how much this helps if it does at all but i'm a 25yr old bi male who has had sorta the same problem when I was with a women. I already knew I was bi but I kept wondering why I couldn't orgasm and I really liked her physically but we were never on the same emotional level... I didn't like her as a person and I think that sometimes mental blocks are there for a reason...I might be talkin outta my ass here but I think because I couldn't connect with her on a personal/emotional level my mind and body didn't wanna connect with her on a physical level. I've had this problem with 3 different women in my life and every time I wasn't attracted to them emotionally, it was only a physical attraction...maybe that's where your mental block is coming from...I really hope this helps and i'm sorry if it dosn't
Most women can't orgasm at all during hetero sex, depending on what you do. Only 25% of women can orgasm from hetero encounters on a regular basis. You just sound bisexual to me. If not being able to orgasm is your only worry, then welcome to the world of heterosexual women and their relationships with men. None of them experience that very easily either.
I am bisexual and heteroromantic, so it is a thing. (Others differ on that.) Regarding orgasm, not only is it hard for experienced women to come in heterosex, it is all but unheard of for first-timers. So I would not in the least let that be a hint that you are not all straight. There are other hints, which you mentioned, but that isn't one of them. Maybe that's one worry off your mind.
Thank you for your kind responses! The thing is that I am into this guy emotionally, I like him so much I'm afraid of losing him because I have these thoughts. I don't think I could've had sex with him if I didn't like him emotionally. Afterwards when I kept thinking about our night together I was able to orgasm, so he wasn't really the problem... But I guess it's true that it's common for a first-timer not to orgasm, but it was really frustrating... And I guess my biggest worry is that the thoughts and anxiety will not go away and that will only create bigger problems in bed. I just wish my brain could be rational I guess and not think so much :/
