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Is anyone demisexual and can they explain it to me?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Spectralhaze, Dec 16, 2016.

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  1. Spectralhaze

    Spectralhaze
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    So I thought I was Pansexual for a while, but I don't really seem attracted to boys. I have a few crushes, only girls, so then I thought maybe I'm polysexual or lesbian. But then I realized everyone I seem to like, I've been their friend for a while, Except for this one girl. If you're demisexual, can you tell me what it's like, and even if you're not, I'd be thankful for your advice.
     
    #1 Spectralhaze, Dec 16, 2016
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Hey Spectralhaze,

    By definition, a demisexual person is only sexually attracted to people they already have a strong emotional bond with.

    However, it is important to note that it isn't a scientifically recognized label. The likely reason for this is because being attracted to someone you have an emotional bond with is a common "microvariation" of human sexuality, or, in other words, it is arguable if there is the need to create a label especially for this variation.

    As always, of course, anyone is free to choose any label, but some labels can be too confusing.

    The most important thing is: If labels are confusing you too much, don't worry about them. You are who you are, and you don't need to find words to describe every part of you if you don't want to.
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Dec 16, 2016
  3. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    For me it basically means I feel 100% asexual until I meet the right person, usually a person I've known for months or years. I've felt sexually attracted to three people in my lifetime. One was a best friend of 7 years, one a close friend of two years, and one a bit in between. I never think strangers or hot or fantasize about people I haven't bonded with. I can't "date" normally, because I don't have any attraction after the first date, maybe not even after 10 dates. I feel grossed out kissing someone on the first date and I'd never have sex before the exclusive girlfriend thing.

    If I get rejected or lose the relationship, I turn "asexual" again. I have no sexual attraction or need for sex until the right person happens to come along again.

    I'm a lesbian because I can't feel attracted to men at all, even after we've bonded. I hate the idea of touching a dick, but touching female genitals is ok to me. I'm just not attracted to any women.

    A lot of people don't think demisexuality exists because a lot of people need an emotional connection to have sex. This is true and normal. But for me, It's complete asexuality and lack of all sexual desire until you bond with someone enough.

    ---------- Post added 16th Dec 2016 at 05:42 AM ----------

    *Not attracted to any women I barely know well
     
    #3 Creativemind, Dec 16, 2016
  4. AMPM

    AMPM
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    Creativemind puts it over so well, I feel exactly the same. I just can't imagine being attracted to someone I haven't bonded with.
     
    #4 AMPM, Dec 17, 2016
  5. CROSSY ROAD

    CROSSY ROAD
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    My best friend is Demiromantic, and it's basically the same thi g. You only like people you have a strong bond with.
     
    #5 CROSSY ROAD, Dec 19, 2016
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