To be clear... sexual orientation appears to be pretty firmly fixed, according to what we know. People may be in denial, act out with people they don't truly have attraction to, or, for various reasons (usually related to psychological issues, or emotional or physical abuse) have feelings of attraction that don't match their underlying orientation. But if sexual orientation were really fluid and flexible, then people who don't want to be gay could change their orientation. And unfortunately, that isn't possible.
Implying sexuality can change means it is a choice. Brain changes which results in sexual interest shift/degree changes/direction changes are not anything to do with choices.
It could be that some people who thinks their sexual orientation changes are actually bi/pansexual. In my experience, even though I feel attracted to different people at different times it is not a choice, I am attracted to who I am attracted to. I am not attracted to everyone, but I am attracted to a variety of different people and bodies. Some times I am not attracted to anyone, because some people in my history have been asses and I blocked out all feelings. That last one is a choice. The other stuff is not. Just because someones sexual interests change or varies, doesn't mean it's a choice.
Completely agree with this. I am bi and some days I feel 'gay-er' than others, though that doesn't change that I am attracted to both [binary] genders. This is also why what Chip says annoys me slightly, not because it's wrong but because it can be misconstrued quite easily. I just can't stop feeling there's a better way to phrase what he's saying. Perhaps phrasing it as 'Our orientations can flow around our specific sections of the sexuality spectrum, e.g. people who identify as bisexual can flow more to the 'straight' end or more to the 'gay' end or somewhere nearer the middle though still being in the confines of the Bisexual section.' might be better. At least for me it makes a bit more sense.
I think sexuality definitely has the potential to be fluid - not of course. Obviously someone who is completely heterosexual won't suddenly wake up one morning and be completely gay, and vice versa, but I think if someone falls slightly in the middle of the spectrum there is potential for their attractions to shift ever so lightly. I think this is mainly the case for people who are bisexual in nature, and who have the capacity to feel attraction to both sexes. Some people might feel more gay some months, and more heterosexual other months, and some even other years. This can be quite confusing (sigh). I know people may think this can be an excuse for a person in denial, and I guess you would just need to make sure you are living authentically in the present. Sexuality is a really complicated thing to tackle, and whilst for some it is set in stone sometimes it isn't that straight forward unfortunately. So yes, I think sexuality can be fluid but not for everyone and not by choice either. ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 02:26 PM ---------- *not for everyone of course. ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 02:28 PM ---------- Ever so slightly* Sorry you'd think I could type!! ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 02:38 PM ---------- Like, your sexuality wont' change, but if you already have the capacity to experience attractions to both sexes they may fluctuate. For example, when you're young your attraction to men may be 60/40 and as you grow older it's 70/30. It may change again. Or your attraction to women when you're younger may be 40/60 and now it's 70/30. It doesn't mean you've suddenly changed sexual orientations, but your bisexuality has fluctuated if that makes sense? I think that's possible. But I'm not an expert I'm just a confused person online trying to find answers for herself. ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2016 at 02:41 PM ---------- 60/40 attraction to men turned to 70/30 attraction to women is what I meant. I'm not even sure if that makes sense but I hope you get the picture.
I know! I think there are a lot of misconceptions around bisexuality, and the fact that it can be a really complex orientation sometimes, because it can create a lot of uncertainty. Like who will you date next, and how sometimes how preferences can fluctuate and it creates self doubt sometimes.
I think the conceptual and terminological differentiation between sexual fluidity and fluidity in sexual orientation is essentially insignificant. Sexual orientation is an identity that one chooses to describe one's overall sexuality, assuming oneself to be a unified subject. There can be fluidity in orientation for two reasons: 1) it is an identity that comes after the fact, a posteriori, and therefore cannot account for what is to come in the future, and 2) it is an identity that one chooses to feel comfortable, and sometimes what feels comfortable changes. If a man identified as straight for 30 years because he felt attracted exclusively to women, and then sexual fluidity occurs where he starts feeling attracted to men, then it is presumptuous to claim that he was always bisexual or pansexual. If this fluidity keeps on occurring, then this man may choose to identify as bisexual or pansexual, but that is an identity chosen at that moment, in that this identity does not accurately describe his initial 30 years of life. It is entirely up to this man to choose how he would like to describe himself and his life, both the past and the present, and perhaps even considering the future. There is no scientific biological categorization of sexual orientation, at least not yet.
I have had romantic/emotional crushes on guys throughout my life (I'm in my 40s), but my sexual, purely physical, attraction to women has remained pretty consistent since I was about 8 years old.
