Hi all, I have spent a good part of my life ignoring my attraction to females and only dated males. Its been about a year since I had my first real crush on a female that I could not ignore. When I began to acknowledge I did have feelings for her I started noticing attraction to all sorts of other females. Its like the flood gates of my denial have opened. Even though I am more conscious of these feelings, I have been working on accepting that part of myself. I haven't been with anyone or in a relationship for about a year now. I feel a mixture of confusion, anxiety, frustration, and guilt which makes me sorta shut down. I keep finding myself thinking about females and being attracted to them while being attracted to males as well. However, right now a male relationship does not sound appealing. Im not sure if I am Bi or transitioning to Lesbian or none of the above. I know my immediate family would love me and not judge me for dating a female but some part of me isn't ready to act on my feelings or try to actively seek out a female relationship yet. Its all very confusing. Probably as confusing as what I just tried typing haha. Anyways, I was wondering if there were any good self help or other reading recommendations for people trying to find/accept themselves. thank you for your time
Hi osa, unfortunately I don't know about any non fiction books on the topic (through there must be loads I guess). What helped me to find and accept my sexuality and gender identity was reading about other lgbt people (e.g. on this website)and watch lgbt movies and YouTube channels. Basically everything that showed me that I am not the only person going through this and that what I feel is a real and valid thing. Writing down my thoughts was also very helpful. Nearly every moment of revelation I had occurred after writing my feelings down. Another thing is that it will just take time to figure yourself out. Being confused is okay and so is not wanting a relationship until you're clearer about things. Take your time and don't force yourself to do anything you are not ready for. Things will eventually become less confusing. I wish you all the best!
