So I'm a technically homoflexible transman, and I'm just curious as to what I should expect in terms of dating after HRT therapy, though of course I understand generalizing is not the best way to anticipate possible outcomes. I just want to have some kind of idea. So if there are those of you out there, gay transmen like myself, if you feel comfortable sharing what has your dating life been like during or post transition? Did you have any fears like I do of being rejected? Do you think the reality of dating after you've changed has confirmed those fears or is it groundless? There seems to be little information on gay transmen and their dating lives, so I'm curious. I'm an effeminate transman largely attracted to other effeminate men and I've always been attracted to effeminate gay men, but from what I understand dating for transpeople seems honestly very limited in terms of acceptance and understanding among potential partners, not to insult anyone, it's just that there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding transpeople it seems. I see a lot of transguys dating women of various sexual orientations and backgrounds or occasionally I see some transguys dating non binary individuals. I feel as though I rarely see transguys dating cisgendered gay men. I guess I'm afraid that I won't be accepted among the gay male community because of my body and I'm afraid of my dating pool decreasing drastically as a result of my transition. Maybe my fears are for nothing, I don't know. Again sorry for the generalizations. Any advice, insight, or experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I'm afraid that I don't have dating experience to give, I've only had one boyfriend, and that relationship is not going to last because he's a cisgendered straight man and I'm a trans man who likes guys. Girls still unsure but it's mostly been men. I just wanted you to know that you weren't alone in being a dude into other dudes But I do have the same fears as you do honestly. I feel so inadequate and that I don't belong in a relationship with one as an equal. I know my dating pool is shrinking faster than a pool in the desert, but I don't think it's completely unlikely to meet someone. If you are genuine, yourself, and treat each other with respect and are equal grounds, then I don't see a problem. It might be difficult at first, but I believe that there can be a guy who sees you as the man you truly are and will love you for who you are. Body, mind, soul and all. I think dating advice is universal, in that if you are kind, respectful and have genuine feelings and trust then there's nothing else to worry about. If they do turn you away, that's their problem, not yours and chances are they weren't the right one anyways. I'm not sure this has been helpful, again I'm lacking in experience myself but then again everyone has to start at the bottom and there's no shame in that. Just wanted you to know you're not the only one who's of male persuasion and is trying to be male as well. Good luck to you, I hope you find someone and have more helpful advice than what I have lol.
Thanks love, I'm also pre everything so I know how it feels~ ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2017 at 08:40 PM ---------- Thanks for your reassurance and encouragement, it means a lot as I'm sure you know~ It's always nice to know you're not alone. I'm sure that beautiful man is out there somewhere for both of us. Good luck to us both eh? Thanks again~(*hug*)
I don't have any dating experience either but I would totally be open to dating a transman, I think it would depend more on your personality and things like that like it would be with any other guy. I've always wanted to try experiment with a transguy but I've never met one. A lot of transwomen feel like they are used because guys only want to have sex with them and don't want anything serious, but that is not what I'd want to happen. I just am open to seeing where it would go. i don't know if i expressed myself correctly.
It probably won't decrease drastically...yes some gay men simply aren't attracted to it or are more hesitant to try but it hasn't stopped any gay trans guys before. ( I sometimes have the feeling that a lot of gay transguys end up with other trans guys but that's just my very inaccurate impression) Best way is probably to be upfront about it from the start so they can tell you I it's a deal breaker or not.
