I know that the general consensus is that pornography is not a good indication of your sexuality. However, I'm curious as to others experiences with it, as I can't reconcile it in my mind my porn use to the fact I'm questioning whether I am gay/bi. I have had huge issues with porn in the past, using it from the age of about 13. From 18-25 it was the thing in my life that I did more than anything. A hobby if you will. I'd watch it every day, multiple times, edging for hours and hours, a standard session 2-4 hours, and I've had 12 hours binges many times, with sometimes entire days lost to it. Horrifying really. The whole time, it was straight porn I was watching. For a long period it was just solo girls on webcam. Whilst I explored and got into domination, submission, BDSM etc there was always a girl involved. When going through a period of doubting my sexuality I did look at some gay porn to check for a response. Normally I'd find I could watch it fine but generally got bored and quickly moved back to straight porn. At 28 I use porn a lot less now - I haven't given it up but it is no longer at all daily. This is something I'm trying to address which has been a huge conscious effort.I go through a period of a few weeks not watching it before a binging sessions an maybe after a week deciding to give it up again. I'm happy to have made progress even I'm not not where I want to be. I'm hoping that as I overcome my porn issues as stop blunting my emotions, my sexuality will become clearer to me and I can accept it. But the real question is how my history with this impacts my sexuality. I never felt I was looking at porn as a way to prove I was straight. I was obviously using it to cover up some psychological issues, and maybe using it as self medication. But if that was the case, why do I watch straight porn and not gay if that's where my sexual preferences lie? Why do I get bored of gay porn if men are what really turn me on? I know there are cases of straight men gravitating to gay porn as their fetishes and tastes morph so I guess there is a chance this is the case with me? Or maybe my use of straight porn is disconnected from my sexuality completely and is now the equivalent of a hobby that gives me a rush - for some people its BASE jumping but for me, its straight porn! Or obviously maybe I'm bi and the love of straight porn is therefore in keeping with my tastes but I've been suppressing the male aspect. The question I have to you guys, mainly for people who have come to some acceptance of their sexuality is really about there porn history. Is there anyone here who has accepted themselves as gay who put a serious time/money investment into straight porn (and on a sidenote, PUA methods on how to get attractive girls!) and what was the underlying motivation - to prove to yourself you were straight or because at the time that's what you really wanted? Thanks! tl;dr why the hell have I watched so much straight porn if I don't have any attraction to girls
Well, as you know, sometimes porn isn't the best indicator and it could be that straight porn is just your preference. Some gay guys like straight porn so they can look at the guy and imagine themselves in the girl's place. Others just like the acts and scenery of it more than gay porn. And others may be looking at it to convince themselves that they're straight. "I know there are cases of straight men gravitating to gay porn as their fetishes and tastes morph so I guess there is a chance this is the case with me? Or maybe my use of straight porn is disconnected from my sexuality completely and is now the equivalent of a hobby that gives me a rush -" Yeah, it could be that too. Now, I'm not a guy so I don't know if male experience is different. But as a lesbian, I hate lesbian porn. It's fake, the girls are ugly, the moaning and screeching is annoying, the fingernails make me cringe, the fact that they're disinterested and don't know how real oral sex works, the fact that most of them get fucked by a guy at the end....It's not for gay women, It's for straight men. I only watch gay porn (guy/guy) but I don't feel straight/bi. I'm not even attracted to the guys. It's the scenery I like. They look more interested, there's more passion, It's easier to find realistic videos compared to lesbian porn (ew). I don't care what they look like...they can be old, young, hairy, twinks, bald, scarred, completely disfigured, whatever. Either way I don't find the men attractive, I just find the passion attractive. And sometimes I dissociate and pretend they are of other gender combinations by just focusing on the scenery. And...some men may also do this. Just because you like a type of porn, doesn't mean you want to do it real life. Some people like gory slasher movies, but wouldn't kill anybody. And likewise, some people think BDSM sex is interesting, and taboo to watch, but the idea of doing the real thing scares them and turns them off. Various reasons behind this.
Here is my progression of porn over the years. Straight porn magazines - Focused primarily on photo essays where couples were having sex, secretly checking out the guys :eusa_shhh Couples / bisexual videos - Still in denial, and the video selection was based on the guys in the video :eusa_shhh Gay porn videos - The ice began to thaw... Gay porn videos - When the real thing isn't available (!)
Hey Ed, Porn stimulates a different area in the brain than actual, physical sex. As Chip has explained it: I don't know the scientific details or explanations, but it seems possible to me that you have come to associate porn with sex to such a degree that the 'real thing' is no longer stimulating for you. You describe cutting back on your porn usage, but not stopping it. I would highly recommend that you go for a significant period of time (like at least a month) without watching ANY porn and then see how your masturbation fantasies play out/evolve. Just some thoughts.
LOL! As any addict would tell you. But, seriously, try baby steps. Try laying off it completely for a week. The two weeks, then a month... See how that affects your sex drive, your attractions and your fantasies.
