Hi everyone! I'm new here and I'm so glad I came across this forum. I'm a girl in my early 20s, married. Earlier today, I read a list of romantic orientations on a blog, so I tried to find out which ones I identify myself as. I'm confident that I'm a heteroromantic bisexual. I only feel romantically attracted to men, though I get sexually attracted to both men and women. I'd also say that I'm a hyperromantic, since I'm really into cuddling and stuff with my husband and I can't last a day without him. Can I also say that I'm demiromantic because I can only be romantically attracted only to men with whom I share an emotional bond with (a close friend, for example)? Anyway, here's the confusing part: I'm more sexually attracted to women than men. But, never to female friends nor acquaintances. I only feel it with strangers, celebrities... basically girls with whom I haven't engaged conversations with. I came across the term "fraysexual", but I don't think that accurately describes me, since I can feel sexually attracted to men who are close to me, like male friends. Can anyone help me figure out the correct term for my bisexuality? Thank you in advance!
I would just call it bisexuality. There's no need to over label it. Some people are only attracted to close friends, some only attracted to strangers, some can do both, and some who are bisexual feel one way for men and the opposite way for women. Take me for example. I identify as a lesbian, but I am ONLY sexually attracted to women I have known a long time, like friends. I don't find women attractive if they are strangers. I don't have celebrity crushes. I am slow, conservative, and prefer to wait for sex, I also have a low sex drive. For me, sex is based on emotional connection, and doing it for pure pleasure is pointless as I have my right hand for that. Technically, I could call myself a "demiromantic demisexual that only likes women" but It's unnecessary over labeling. Why can't we just accept that people of the same sexuality can have different experiences? I do sometimes feel annoyed that homosexuality is so over sexualized that people don't understand how I could be a "lesbian" that is not very sexual and is not attracted to strangers at all. But instead of over labeling, I'll just explain if they ask and have trouble understanding.
You're asking us for a correct term, but you already said it yourself: bisexuality. You don't need to be equally attracted to either gender to be bisexual, in fact most bi people tend to have a preference towards one gender. You can do whatever you like, but I'd personally either pick a simple label or ditch them. I did the latter. One of the reasons labels are useful is that they describe your sexuality without having to provide lengthy explanations about your feelings of attraction. But if you use a label like "fraysexual" then you'd have to describe it every time you tell others about it, at which point the label become counterproductive.
Maybe the way I am thinking is inaccurate, but I think bisexuality is a big umbrella for all sorts of different types of feelings. The only criteria for it would be, are you attracted to your own gender and the opposite? Doesn't matter if it is equally or not. Doesn't matter if they are close friends or strangers Doesn't matter if it is at the same time or on different occasions. ---------- Post added 6th Jan 2017 at 07:10 PM ---------- Also, where can I find that blog you mentioned?
Creativemind: Thank you for the reply. I guess the reason why I felt like I needed to overlabel it is because deep inside me, I'm still having some difficulties accepting that I'm not straight, probably due to my religion and upbringing. But I think I understand now. Thank you so much. AnAtypicalGuy: Thank you for replying and for making me realize what labels really are! MiniPepper: Thank you so much! One of the blogs I follow on Tumblr reposted it. I think it'll come out on Google search results if you looked for "romantic orientations list".
