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How I Found Out I Was Bisexual

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by alex121333, Jan 6, 2017.

  1. alex121333

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2017
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I’ve never been a super romantic person. I mostly focus on my studies, one of my favorite phrases being “work is my one true love”. Sure, I’ve had crushes. One lasted four years. That was not fun. Another, was my guy best friend but he moved away. All of these crushes were on boys.
    I’ve always known that I think about my own gender in a bit of a different way than most other girls. I’ve mostly just ignored it. No reason to stir up problems within myself until the need comes along. Apparently, the universe decided that two days ago was that day for me to for sure figure things out. I’ve been thinking about my sexuality intensely for about two months now. I was 76% sure I was bisexual, but, I had never had a crush on a girl before.
    I’m not the type of person to just develop crushes. That just doesn’t happen with me. Until now.
    I walked into a class at the start of the semester and sat down. I knew the teacher well and felt comfortable enough. Most of the people who were coming in were younger than me though, which was fine. I’d taken this class later than most.
    A girl walks in and I immediately think,” Wow, she’s really cute.” And thought that was the end of that.
    Then, we had to do this stupid icebreaker thing where you write down a question and then go ask someone and you each have to talk for thirty seconds. I go to her after a couple of people because why not.
    The first thing she says is,” You’re really pretty.”
    Maybe I’m just not socially adept, but that usually doesn’t happen. At least, not to me. Ever. Seriously. I get “you look nice today” and comments like that but not “you’re pretty”. And it was probably one of the best moments of my life. Then, we talked for another minute. From our conversation, which flowed very easily which can be rare for me, we found out that we had lots of things alike. I really liked her, she was cool. But this was different than how I usually like people, it was, I don’t know a connection(??) of sorts. Either way, I felt like I could’ve talked to her for hours.
    For some reason, my brain or heart or whatever decided this was going to be my crush.
    I texted my friend that I’ve come out to and asked about her. He didn’t know much and didn’t connect the dots.
    Until the feelings got stronger somehow. I don’t even know anymore. Stronger from one day, really me? I’ve never had a crush on someone I don’t know.
    I talked to the friend yesterday told him that I’m sure I have a crush on her. First thing he says is,” I can’t see it.” Thanks, friend, thanks. Then he remembered that she had a boyfriend.
    Great. I find out that I’m bisexual (for sure) and find out that my first girl crush has a boyfriend in the same three-day span.
    I realize that these feelings were irrational and I don’t know what to do and how to get over them. I don’t know what to do.
     
  2. beenthrdonetht

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2016
    Messages:
    1,315
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    482
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Remember, boyfriends usually don't last forever. I think my biggest mistake in dating was thinking "Oh, so-and-so is off-limits, I'll wait until they break up and are available again." Which often happened but.. there's no "alert system" :slight_smile: to tell you when that happens. And they wind up unavailable again.

    So what this all boils down to is: ask her out for coffee or to study together. (Especially that last one. If you are into your work and she is into her work that could be a good point of bonding.) Anyone who is open enough to compliment you like that right away is probably waiting for you to do something equally nice back.

    Now, this doesn't mean "become a home-wrecker and get her to cheat on boyfriend." But it does mean get in her radar. (You are already.) Even though... I am sorry to have to say this ... it might make your inner turmoil greater. Because you won't be able to do what you really want to, like reach out and stroke her hair, or lay your head on her shoulder. But then maybe... (I am a romantic type and always hope for the best.)