I have always identified as straight, I find men physically attractive and I enjoy spending time with both genders. When I was younger I was very tomboyish, I have become a little more girly with age. Still though, a few people have said they wouldn't be surprised if I was gay. When I was living away at uni I was in a 2 year relationship with a guy, I ended it as it wasn't making me happy. Afterwards I went on a girly weekend away where I had my first ever girl kiss; she asked me to kiss her very publicly. I felt like I was in ecstasy. I probably got quite handsy. It didn't take long for me to forget everyone else around me and I never wanted to stop kissing her, whereas with guys no matter how physically attractive I find them or how well we get on, I struggle to find the same passion or spark. This girl identifies as straight but is open about her past experiences with women and how she is into physical stuff between women. We are still friends now, but not as close. I still find her fit though because she has similar musical interests and style to me. Since then, I've always been with guys long term. The only other real time I became attracted to another woman, was when I worked abroad. I met up with this girl just before I left, but we'd spoken online and over the phone. We had a lot of inside jokes before we even met and made each other laugh. I did wonder what her sexuality was and then when I met her she told me she used to be a a relationship with a girl but could never go all the way physically and so they broke up and she now identifies as straight. We quickly became close friends, she used to come and sleep in my room and we would talk, spoon and fall asleep together. Later we got our own shared room and we pushed the beds together. We'd spoon and tickle each other every night and spend alot of time together. We had a few names for each other too. In public we were very affectionate and many people thought we were gay. She used to really care for me when I was unwell. She used to say how ugly she felt sometimes when she got a spot on her face , which made me feel really annoyed because I thought she was beautiful. I remember one particular morning when we were cuddling in bed, and running our hands through each other's hair, every inch of me then wanted to kiss her and every inch of me had to stop myself in fear of losing such a valuable friendship I've kept. We both had a few flings with different guys during this time. These two situations may have happened a while ago, both girls are now dating guys , but now I can't stop fantasising about them. I don't know whether I could actually take things further physically with a girl but as one of my old friends told me, you don't know until you try. Do you guys think this could make me a tiny bit bisexual?
Hi 31apodnstr, Welcome to EC! From your post, I can't tell if you like guys but it sounds to me that you definitely like women so if you also like men, that would be bisexual. Keep reading and posting. Things become clearer the more you discuss it. They get confusing too but hopefully in the end it will be clear.
Thanks Really_ for the wise words, I definitely like men too, just in a different physical/emotional attraction balance. I think I'd just be afraid of taking things further physically with a woman, I would really have to get to know her first to feel comfortable, whereas with a guy I have come to be a little more comfortable with those I am attracted to. I'm more physically than emotionally attracted to men which is why I feel the passion lacks sometimes. I have spoken to a few friends about half of this story but I would never feel comfortable admitting to my family not after how they reacted before when they thought this was the case .
Yes, I think you are a good bit bisexual, more than a tiny bit. In fact, it sounds like you are more gay than straight. I mean, look at the two long, luscious paragraphs about relationships with women. And in between them is the tiny "Since then I've always been with guys long term." No details, no excitement, no tingles. Maybe they happened, but I think it must mean something that you didn't say so.
With guys, I get to know them and I really enjoy their company as long as they are interested in more than one thing . The guy I was most recently seeing was really hot and a caring guy but he wasn't attractive on an intellectual level . I feel with guys we have to have a common interest and that I have to be attracted to them ... im one of those chicks who has a list of things I want out of a relationship with a guy. I remember really fancying a guy I was with who was successful in things I enjoy doing . I think I tend to go for guys who are more metrosexual or who take pride in their appearance, i like a man with a good hairstyle or long hair but not a Viking. When it comes to sleeping with guys, only a few have really understood what floats my boat, it's all about listening to each other and unless my boat is floating ... I get bored and passion lacks... I prefer it when I've had a drink, I feel more comfortable At the moment there is a guy who is taking interest in me and I'm just not sure, he is so lovely but his friend is dating the girl in paragraph one and I'm not sure I'm physically attracted to him. I also want to go for a guy with a better age difference (I look very young for my age) Most guys have been younger, one has been older than what I would ideally go for, and also I feel confused about what I really want right now so I think it's best to be alone while I work through it. The two long paragraphs about women was me questioning whether I'm into them both physically and emotionally. I'm not normally into PDA's. I would never have gone into that detail explaining it to a friend. On a physical level I don't know how I feel about anything more than kissing a girl because I have never tried it, I guess I am bound to be nervous about the idea though. I have thought about scenarios. I mean the closest I've come to that is lying naked in bed face down or lying cuddling in a bikini with the girl from the second paragraph or walking around naked after knowing her for a while Take celebrities for example... I find more male celebrities physically attractive. I do find a couple of female celebrities hot though, one of which is older and I literally copy her fictional characters style, it's weird her character is showing bisexual tendencies at the moment. Like the other day I met a guy while doing my job and I thought wow he is hot. Completely out of bounds though and I wonder whether that's what I like ... the chase... trying to get someone I know I can't have. I don't like things to come easily ... I like to work for them.
