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Sexual and Romantic Orientation If you are unsure of your sexuality, post here for support and advice. If you have concerns about coming out, please use the Coming Out Advice forum.

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Old 10th Jan 2017, 01:42 PM   #1
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Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff too)

Alright, so I'm feeling quite confused at the moment. I'm pretty sure I'm gay - I'm definitely attracted to other boys, I think they're hot, I fantasise about them, and if I imagine points later in life, like being in a relationship, moving in, perhaps getting married, then I want to have that with a guy. No doubt on that part.

But, and here's when the weird stuff starts (beware, now shit gets a bit sexual!):

When I fantasise about guys, it's about me being dominated by them. I've never even kissed anyone before, but I'm very much into the idea of submitting to a guy. But I found that I can also get off to thinking about girls, but, like, only above the waist. The idea of (or just mention of) anything below a girl's skirt repulses me and makes me want to throw up, but at the same time, I get off at the thought of female "endowment" above the waist (yes, I'm a blushing virgin who can't even spell "sex" without stuttering).

I really don't know what to feel right now. I want to be dominated by boys, but I also imagine getting sexual with girls, as long as it doesn't involve full-on intercourse. I have no idea what to call that, and I feel like not only I have to be gay (no problems with that, but sooner or later other people will give me trouble for that), but I can't even be properly gay. Also, I've come out to quite a few people, and I'm afraid of having to nullify that statement, because a coming-out isn't really something you can take back.

Every advice would be very appreciated.

Nik

---------- Post added 10th Jan 2017 at 10:01 PM ----------

P.S: I also can't really imagine being with a female - kissing, perhaps, at most, but even that idea feels uncomfortable. Basically I feel fine imagining very explicit things with girls (though I always feel bad afterwards), but the mere thought to actually be in an intimate situation with a girl is really weird or even outright repulsive.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 02:46 PM   #2
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

Wow I can literally identify with almost everything you have just said.

I'm afraid I can't really help you as I'm in pretty much the same situation as you, it will be interesting to see what other people have to say.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 03:47 PM   #3
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

There is nothing wrong with you! I don't think you have to be completely repulsed by girls to call yourself gay.. You can see yourself with a guy and it feels right to you..since the thought of you being with a girl makes you feel uncomfortable it's obvious that you're a perfect gay man��
Don't think about it too much.. Just do what you like!
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 03:47 PM   #4
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

You just sound gay to me. Sometimes we have intrusive thoughts about the non preferred sex, but if you really don't want to have sex with them....you're probably gay.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 09:38 PM   #5
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

Most mammals, of both genders, like boobs. I don't think it changes your basic identity, which sounds gay. But maybe you will find a girl who only wants to play above the waist. There are all types out there.
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Old 10th Jan 2017, 11:02 PM   #6
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

I concur. Plenty of gay guys can see a certain level of attraction in people of both sexes, but the idea of actual sex is a complete turn-off. From what you describe, you sound either gay or Pretty far toward the gay end of the spectrum.
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 02:26 AM   #7
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

I feel sort of similar. I'm attracted to guys and I have no interest in being the active partner, but I'm unsure of how I feel about women sexually. I'd like to possibly experiment someday, but like I said I have no interest in being the person doing the penetration.

Just curious, theoretically how do you feel about the thought of having sex with a woman wearing a strap-on?
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Old 11th Jan 2017, 10:49 AM   #8
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Re: Definitely into guys, but I'm a bit confused about girls (talks about sex stuff t

Thanks for your responses, I'm glad that I'm not the only one who worries about that, and thanks for your advice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by EpicConfusion View Post
I feel sort of similar. I'm attracted to guys and I have no interest in being the active partner, but I'm unsure of how I feel about women sexually. I'd like to possibly experiment someday, but like I said I have no interest in being the person doing the penetration.

Just curious, theoretically how do you feel about the thought of having sex with a woman wearing a strap-on?
Uh. I don't know? Never really thought about it. First thought that comes to my mind is something like, "kinda really hot, but also kinda not really what I want."

---------- Post added 11th Jan 2017 at 06:53 PM ----------

(The above) Like something I could think about, but something where I'd rather run away if it were real.
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