ok so i 've been with girls in the past and it was fun, but some time ago i always had those thoughts "im I gay"? and now when i encounter a male i always have this thought of sucking his dick.I don't know whats happening to me anymore.I don't know whether this is a sexual fantasy or an obsessive thought but it's making things really hard I can't even focus on a conversation.My therapist labeled me as bisexual but i don't like that title simply because it doesn't solve myproblems at all, please help?
Morning I5, Glad that you are seeing a therapist, just curious why you feel the need to label yourself. Just be. You won't know what works for you until you put yourself out there, be safe. J
Hi illusionist5, First, I want to say that many of us here understand your struggle, and you are not alone in feeling this way. Second, your therapist shouldn't be labeling you. A therapist should only be helping you to label yourself (assuming you want to put a label on it.) If you fantasize about sucking dicks, it's probable that you are not straight. Whether you are bisexual or just gay is something only you can decide for yourself. You said you don't like the label of bisexual because it doesn't solve your problem. I don't really understand that statement. You cannot change your sexuality. You can either accept it or deny it. So, if you are bisexual, accepting that you can be attracted to both men and women does solve your problem of figuring yourself out and accepting why you have the fantasies that you do. Is this just obsessive thinking? Probably not. But you can help to answer that question by paying attention to your fantasies during masturbation. Without porn (porn is a bad indicator of sexuality), when you masturbate, do you fantasize about women mostly, men mostly, or either depending upon your mood that day? Do you think about anything other than oral sex on a guy, such as kissing a guy? Could you see yourself in a relationship with a guy? Mostly, I would suggest that you relax about this, and allow yourself to be in a place of questioning without guilt, shame or fear. You will figure yourself out, but it will help you to do so if you don't pile on the extraneous baggage of guilt, shame and fear. Take care. ride:
It could be just obsessive thoughts. Like the other people said, I think it's really important that you try to relax about this. You're not going to be able to figure anything out if you keep worrying about it. Try to push it out of your mind for a while, and not think about it at all. That way when you do get back to it, you'll feel calmer. You can always go to another therapist as well, to see what they have to say.
