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Unrequited Love.. I think

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rchom, Jan 17, 2017.

  1. rchom

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    I am a 29 years old and over the last few years, I fell in love with my best friend. Think there are a lot of similar stories out there like this... came out at the same time, inseparable for years, etc etc. We always seemed to have an unspoken agreement that we would get together after we've "sewn some wild oats". Over the last year, it became a bit unbearable for me to watch... and I took a break from our friendship beginning Jan 1 of this year, to reevaluate our relationship and get over the crush a bit. Think it's been the best move, but would like to hear other stories of how things worked out in the end for everyone. Part of the difficulty is that he has serious intimacy issues and has never been in a relationship, whereas I have, and I know what I want in life, romantically. Somewhat conflicting frames of mind when in my situation. I do believe he loves me as I love him, but the timing is just way off. So, I'm giving us both time to separately reflect on all of this.. I know we will remain best friends, our chemistry is too good to ever not be together in some form. Thoughts?
     
  2. Naos210

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    Well, first off, have you told him how you feel? That could be the first step. Also, it makes sense that you're taking time to figure things out. That's probably best, but if you want a romantic relationship with him, don't take too long. You may stall too long, and there's always a chance he can end up with somebody else.

    Take anything I say with a grain of salt though. I've never been in any romantic entanglements myself.
     
  3. rchom

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    Yes, he definitely knows. His stance is that for all intents and purposes, we should go about as if we aren't going to be together. Which is his way of saying, I want to have my fun for now, but don't want to close the door to the possibility of something later. Which we had always discussed. And I was always OK with that approach, but my feelings just started to get the better of me and our relationship was a little rocky at times. He has the ability to shut off his emotions more than me. The funny thing is that even after he wanted to wait, he's still not with anyone, and nobody interests him, really.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    Honestly, even if he was okay with being with you...he sounds emotionally unavailable. The relationship would not last and would hurt you in the long run. He obviously has problems he needs to work out if he's ever going to be in a long term relationship.
     
  5. rchom

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    He's aware of his emotional unavailability. I am aware of it too. But, he just makes me so happy that I was/probably still am willing to wait it out and see. I'm a believer in accepting some short term pain for long term happiness. Only thing is that we are so so young anymore, and need to be realistic.