Just joined this forum recently... been browsing through the various threads and all seems very useful and interesting. I am in my early 30's and have never been in a sexual relationship with anyone... I have had relationships with people but I have enjoyed the emotional aspect of it over anything else. I am not sure if I am an asexual or a lesbian. This is because all my life I have always preferred to be around women over men...I enjoy looking at women and find them much 'easier on the eye' compared to men. I will look at a woman's face and see more emotions and softness in their expressions over a man's. I will look at a man for a few minutes and feel repulsed by his rough and hard appearance...a man's hairy body and facial features do not appeal to me...I actually feel disgusted at times being around men and notice sexist comments they make about women and how aggressive they can be...have I just not met the right man yet? whenever I'm in public and notice most men look at me I feel objectified and do not enjoy the attention....I feel degraded and 'eye raped' by them however when it's done by a woman I feel at ease. I get social anxiety around the opposite sex quite often...I just can't connect with guys on an emotional level and I do not want to share my feelings with them...sex with a guy seems mechanical and disgusting to me. I can deeply connect with women on an emotional level, not sure if I would want to have sex with a woman though. Do you think I could be a lesbian? Or an asexual?
Sounds like you could be a lesbian (or possible ace, we don't know yet). You might not know if you want to have sex until you've been in that situation. I never felt much sexual attraction until I met the right person (and still never had any since it was unrequited by their side). It's a slow progress, but I definitely can't see you as straight or even bi because of your feelings toward guys.
Hi creative mind thanks for the reply hun...do you feel objectified when guy;s check you out? do you feel uncomfortable around them? ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2017 at 01:18 PM ---------- And when you look at their facial features do they look scary to you whereas a woman's face looks soft and expressive?
I don't hate men as people, and have some guy friends/male relatives I like talking to. But yes, I do feel extremely uncomfortable when men check me out or hit on me. It doesn't happen as often now that I've become overweight (and is why I'm hesitant to lose weight even if it'll be better in the long run). Being made to feel like a sex object can be unsettling to anyone.
When I talk to straight women, they tell me that they feel good and comfy when guy's check them out...they feel empowered by it...but when it happens to me i feel objectified and degraded... when i look at a man's features i feel repulsed...they look scary and animalistic to me...I can't even sit next to a man for a very long time without feeling sick after a while.
I kind of feel that way sometimes too, but I think part of it comes from being sexualized and having men think being a lesbian is a "challenge". It sounds like men intimidate you. Were you ever hurt by one?
Even when I sit on the train, I will deliberately choose a seat that has a woman sitting next to it or an area where there's less men there. I have also worked for men that are very sexist and patronising towards women...their behavior really disgusts me. ---------- Post added 18th Jan 2017 at 01:31 PM ---------- No I have never been abused by a man physically...but verbally and emotionally i have been....which I think is a lot worse and impactful.
I would agree with your last statement. You don't have to become sexually attracted to men but have you considered getting help for your anxiety? It would be hard to live life being so intimidated by men since we come across them so often.
Just wondering how you have felt around males in the past who wouldn't be attracted to you - relatives/gay men etc? Also - how do you feel about the idea of a woman being attracted to you?
