Hello, this will be a bit longer post because I really do feel that my situation is quite unique, and pretty ambiguous. So, for my entire life (21 years old male) I've considered myself as heterosexual. Why? Because women attracted me from day one. I even remember that I had "crush" in kindergarten. When me and my peers hit puberty,it just became more intense. Desire to have contact with female body,I was and still am mesmerized by female body, masturbation to female pictures, and heterosexual porn etc were pretty much there with me for 21 years.On the other hand,guys were just there, never thought of them as sexual objects, their body never really attracted me, I was in locker room with them far too many times to not pick something up if there really was anything.The best way to describe how I felt about the guy's bodies is as if I was looking at a plain white wall... However, since I never really watched lesbian porn and recently discovered that my friend pretty much always did, I had a concern that maybe I'm gay. For the purpose of testing, I turned on some solo male masturbation video. After heavy manual stimulation for more than 8 minutes I climaxed.After a bunch of soul searching I realized it could have been a few things for why it happened: manual stimulus,taboo arousal,imagining myself in actors shoes,sexual situation itself.So because of this occurrence,since I have OCD which is diagnosed, I started to check for arousal every single day for multiple times a day. Out of more than 150 tests,maybe even 200, three times I did get aroused to those types of videos. What recently caused me to seriously question myself (this will be graphic sorry),is two penises being rubbed against each other.I got aroused.However what I did notice when I tested myself to that video for 3 times, that I always start putting active mental focus to the PC muscle and perineum area, and even press it with fingers sometimes. I don't even have to physically touch it, I can just send signals to it by active mental focus and achieve erection. Without that, I don't get aroused to it. With girls I don't have to actively do anything. I noticed that seeing penis ejaculate, is a form of arousal cue for me.Almost as If I am doing it at that moment. When I imagine myself in that scenario (video I talked about), It just isn't arousing. I also did what Chip recommended, and tried masturbating without porn. The result is always the same: I don't get any arousal to guys,while I get aroused very quickly by girls. However, I always heard that straight guys could never get aroused by gay porn (Chip said it) ,especially the video I talked about with rubbing. That is what causes me to think I might not be heterosexual. I really did try to just be bisexual and accept it, but it just seems fake, almost as if I am putting on a costume and pretending to be a superhero whilst not being one. What the heck am I? Kinsey 0, Kinsey 1, Kinsey 2? I seriously doubt I am 0, even though deep down I know I am not attracted to guys. The biggest problem is inconsistency of arousal to porn videos.When I'm relaxed and just watch it, I don't get aroused, but when there is "risk" element involved(created in my head lol) , I get aroused.
If it's 3 times out of 150, then it's highly unlikely you're gay or even bi. Since you are diagnosed with OCD, it's a near certainty that your OCD is contributing to your question here. By the way, I've never said that straight guys can't get aroused to gay porn. What I have said is that, in general, guys who are straight simply don't find gay porn, gay sex, or the thought of sex with guys appealing. However, *any* sexual behavior can trigger arousal patterns because of the way arousal works in the brain. So again, what you're describing in no way sounds like any sort of sexual attraction toward men.
Well, there you go. Sounds like you're straight to me. Chip's right. Any porn can trigger sexual arousal. 3 times out of 150 isn't a pattern that shows a preference for gay male porn. It just shows that you were watching porn and your body responded to it a couple times.
