So I've always been attracted to females and never really looked at males in anyway shape or form. I have had 2 serious long relationships during my teenage years but during July last year I lost all attraction for my ex. This was during exam time. Due to not knowing why I've started overthinking and thinking I may be gay. Is attraction linked to sex drive? As I have no sex drive
Whenever I see a question like this, I always ask the poster to review what they said. Firstly, you have "always been attracted to females". There are different types of attraction: emotional, intellectual, physical, sexual, romantic... For instance, I am emotionally attracted to guys because I feel I can be myself around them more easily, but I feel nothing when it comes to romantic or physical attraction and definitely not sexual. Do you get aroused by girls? Do you feel butterflies around a pretty girl, imagine holding hands and kissing? If so, do you feel the same with men? Sexuality is confusing and is a process but there are often "clues" when you question yourself. You said you "lost attraction" during exam time. Why? Stress could absolutely cause you not to want to have sex or notice girls! That happens to women too and guys all the time. Stress, depression and problems in relationships lower sex drive as do physical issues like low testosterone. Lastly, you said you are overthinking and I agree. If you have only been attracted to girls, it sounds like you just went through a lot of stuff that burned you out, and stressing over being gay isn't helping. Thinking you are gay is one of the most stressful things you can deal with, so don't go there if you don't have to. Here is my advice. Ask yourself these questions: Did you enjoy kissing girls, holding their hands, having sex? Can you imagine doing that with men? If the answers are "yes" then "no", you aren't gay. Next ask why you lost your sex drive. Are you stressed and depressed? If you are unsure or you are not, I would see a doctor and get checked out. Alcohol, drugs even prescription ones, lack of exercise...all of these are also linked to low libido. If you don't have a sex drive, you won't be sexually attracted to anyone. I really don't think you are gay, but only you will be able to decide that.
There is nothing in your post to indicate to me that you are gay in any way. I agree with everything Rainbowkitten27 said regarding reasons why your libido may have changed for you. Although there are exceptions, the vast majority of gay men began feeling attraction to guys around the time of puberty. If this isn't true for you, and it doesn't sound like it based upon your post, then you probably are not gay and just overthinking an issue that may be better dealt with by a doctor or therapist. Take care. ride:
Sorry I haven't replied I haven't been on the site for a while. When I've been with my exs I have always been attracted to them emotionally and physically. The thought of kissing a girl or holding hands with boy or girl doesn't do anything for me at all. I get no feeling. I have really bad anxiety so anything which might contradict what I feel goes wild in my head. I'll do a better detailed response when I have time but at the moment it's really stressing me out etc
Hi, So the important question here is... what do you find arousing? Now that you're single, what do you think about/fantasize about when you masturbate? It's our masturbation fantasies that can often give the best window into our erotic/sexual arousal and attraction. The anxiety is almost certainly linked to the lack of sex drive, so getting that under control is going to be necessary before you can get a clear answer on the rest, but answering the above will be a place to start.
