I am extremely confused about my sexual orientation. growing up I only liked boys. I crushed on them, wanted to date them, and wanted to be intimate with them. I am now 17 and for the last 2 years been very confused. I worry I'm an in denial lesbian and I don't know why considering I've always liked boys. I do find girls sexually attractive and have had a crush on one. I go through phases where for months at a time I won't be into guys and will be anxious about my sexuality and get all depressed and then I'll have months where I love guys and don't question myself at all. I've thought that I may be bisexual, but someone once told me if I'm bi as a teenager I'll be a lesbian as an adult and that scares me because I don't want to cut guys out of my romantic life. I've never had sex or been in a relationship so I'm not sure which I wouldn't like more. Do you think I'm gay or bi? ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2017 at 07:17 PM ---------- I'd like to add that I find myself checking out girls more but crushing on guys more often
You sound like me, sometimes I have periods where I like girls more, than it switches to guys, than back to girls seemingly at random. Bisexuals don't always have equal attraction to both genders, some favor one over the other. What you're experiencing to me sounds typical of a bisexual person, in regards to liking guys a certain amount of time, then switching to girls, then back to guys.
You sound quite a lot like me as well- I started liking boys when I was ten but I only started liking girls when I was fourteen. I also sometimes have periods when I like one gender more than the other- this is completely normal for a bisexual person. I'd say its unlikely that you're a lesbian, since you're attracted to boys as well. The person who told you that bisexuals become lesbians as adults is completely wrong, and thats just biphobia. Some bisexuals later discover they are completely gay and simply misinterpreted how they felt about boys, or they come out as bisexual even though they know they are gay because they think their parents will accept them more. For example I know a friend who came out as bisexual when they were thirteen but now they're sixteen and they're realised they're a lesbian. However I also have other friends who are definitely bisexual and I doubt their sexuality will shift.
Being Bisexual comes in many forms. Even if you are more attracted to girls but have more crushes on guys, you are still bi. I do agree that some people who are bi later realize they are just gay and misinterpreted feelings of platonic interest in a person for love. For myself personally, on a scale of 1 to 6, where 1 is women and 6 is men, I'm like a 5. I do not identify as gay because I still am very much attracted to women. I have friends who identify as bi and they are only attracted to one person of the same sex and have never had those feelings to any other man. You don't even need to date, I have a female friend who identifies as bi and now identifies as straight because she is choosing not to ever date females again. It's not because she isn't bi, it's just easier to explain. I have never dated anyone male or female and yet I can identify as it. To sum it up, identify with whatever feels right to you. If you feel something changes in the future or you realize something about these feelings you didn't have before, then you are free to change what you identify as. No one can make this decision except for you. Good luck and just relax.
Reevaluating your label later in life is totally fine. I used to identify as default straight, than I identified as bisexual and now gay, because that is my reality now. If I actually start a relationship with a woman again and it feels as good as my current, then I might go back to bi. Labels don't prevent you from trying out new things. You don't have to cut boys out from your romantic life, nobody will force you ;-). Also some things might be clearer once you start an actual (meaning sexual and romantic) relationship. You don't have to have sex to determine what to identify as, but experimenting can certainly help.
