Hi guys, Having questioned my sexuality a lot in the past I would always look at the strength of my erections as a key indicator. I'm well aware that there are a million factors that can come into play but I was surprised when I finally started tried having sex with the same gender my erections were much the same as with women. Variable but almost always considerably weaker/less consistent than when masturbating. As I said, there are many factors that come into play, especially for a guy who's been obsessively questioning his sexuality but what I really want to know is what are tour experiences. Guys? Girls or guys who've been with other guys? I know the permanent erections of pornstars aren't an accurate portrayal so what does one expect. Are erections sometimes harder to come by than other times? Have you struggled in the past at all?
You'll find it much more difficult to maintain a strong erection if you masturbate a lot. I remember seeing medical advice that you should have at least 2 days of break from masturbating each week. Excuse me if this isn't relevant to you but I thought it was worth saying. I hope someone can provide more of an answer than me!
Well, strength of erection is very much dependent on all kinds of variables. I usually get a strong reaction with my current boyfriend, but even then, if I am not interested in sex atm it can deflate really fast. I also slept with a guy who bored me to hell and I could not really keep it up. Neither could he, but that was because of a bottle of wine. Anxiety and questioning/circular thoughts can also kill any desire really fast. So can worry about nearly anything. If that happens to me or my partner, we usually just stop and start slowly again, focusing on comfort and safety. That normally get us going again. And if not, there is still cuddling and other more relaxed forms of intimacy. Did you have sex with people you love/desire? Because then you will hopefully not have any problems anymore. And regarding sexuality : there is a lot more to it then erections... While being turned on is an important part of being a Sexual person, desire for intimacy and connection to others is very important to. Do not judge yourself only by your boner, that seems very limiting to me.
The first thing to remember here is that human bodies are not 100% reliable. Erections in particular can be rather tricky things, with a lot of complex stuff going on inside to make them happen. You could be 100% sure you were gay/straight/bi/whatever, and have been cheerfully sexually active for years - and suddenly find yourself unable to get it up, or get as hard as you might like, for no apparent reason at all, or for some reason that isn't obvious. Alcohol or drugs can make it harder to get an erection (or a maximally hard erection), as can being tired, being nervous, being generally stressed, etc. etc. If doing stuff with guys still makes you feel nervous to some degree - or a first time experience with any given person does - then that could impact your erections. Beyond that, there is the issue of what your turn-ons are and whether or not the activities you're engaging in line up with your turn-ons. Different people are into different things, and it may be that what really gets you hot isn't what you've been doing - even if you're enjoying what you've been doing to one degree or another. So, you could ask yourself - what really turns you on? And have you been doing that? There is also the not uncommon situation for masturbation to result in more intense sensations and a more intense orgasm than sex with another person. As someone once said about masturbation: 'It's fun, it's safe, and you don't have to go home afterwards'. More seriously, you get instant feedback about what feels best when you're masturbating and the only person you have to please is yourself, vs having to explain what feels best to another person or work with them to some degree to get the best feelings (for both of you). It's also possible that the sensations you get with another aren't going to be as 'raw and intense' as with solo fun, but operate in their own category of good feelings that are different, but offer their own rewards or experiences that self-pleasure can't (sort of how you can't tickle yourself). Hope this helps, Todd
Hi Confuseddude. I think erections are probably harder to come by for some people depending on how much stress is in their lives. I'm just taking a wild guess here so I could be wrong. For me personally I never have a problem getting an erection for a girl. It's so easy for me.
There are a lot of factors at play when it comes to the strength of an erection. You almost certainly have woken up with "morning wood", and that almost certainly wasn't because you were heavily aroused by the idea of getting up in the morning. How long it's been since my last orgasm, how long I've been having sex...all sorts of things can come into play. Sometimes I'm really into the act, but my dick doesn't really seem as excited as I know I am. And other times, I don't feel like I'm getting it into it all that much, but my dick is acting like it's my first sex in a decade. I tend to put far more weight into what my brain is thinking than what my lower half is indicating. Lex
