Hi, since I'm born, I always liked girls and never thought about boys. I had 3 major crushes, two of them ended up in a relationship, but the only serious one began when I was 17 years old until I was 20 years old, so it lasted three years. It all was fine and never quesitoned anything, but I am a very shy and insecure male person and tend to overthink things. So, after the relationship I was confident and ready for another one, but then things got complicated, I god depressed because of some life choices, and closed in myself and was too isnecure to began a relationship. After this period, I one day felt attraction for a my dear friend, it was just for some days and then never experienced that anymore, but I began to think I could be gay. I mean, if I think about it, I always liked to do "anal things" with myself (still not thinking about men while doing it) or to wish to try anal sex with my ex girlfriend. And with time I began to fantasize about men and, well, I think I could enjoy sex with a man, even though I never tried. You could say I could be bisexual, but the "problem" is in the meantime I have lost my attraction to girls. I mean, I really see them as extremely beautiful creatures, but I somehow don't fell sexual attraction anymore. And I don't know if it is because I denied myself so much in the previous years to having a relationship with them because of my insecurity, or because I suddently realized I'm gay. If you are asking, I tryed to watch gay porn and I liked it, even though it felt really weird because I never thought about it. It's like in this period I'd like to have sex with boys, but everything else with girls, kind of. Now I even met a girl who is like the perfect girl for me, but again, even if I feel bad when we don't text (she is distant, but we will meet again in a few months) and want to hear her 24 hours a day, I don't feel attraction. The only thing is when I do have erections/fell like I want to have sex, I think about her, but again, I am not very able to get aroused just thinking about her in other situations. I know, you can't really tell anything without knowing me, and there would be a lot more to say, but for now that's enough infos I think. What's your opinion? I'd really appreciate to hear, and if you do have questions, ask and I'll answer. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day!
I have a similar situation. I was in a long term relationship from early 20's to my now late 20's and after my breakup I almost could not stand women. I was emotionally hurt and put off them. I then started to think I was gay too...as my mind started wondering to the other side. I wanted to try new sexual experiences. I began to think that once you in a relationship and thinking of marriage you will not be able to fulfill your sexual desires unless you jointly agree with your partner. Hmm...embarrasing to even bring it up. So I started doing what I want. I "bumped" into a transexual on holiday, always had thoughts of trying giving oral sex on a penis and went for it. Yes it was weird and scary after, for what I did, but after time I'm understanding myself so much more. What I'm trying to get across to you is that I think life experiences impacts upon you throughout life and it may well be that it affects your sexuality and orientation as life goes by. Therefore, it is normal to feel what you are going through, best thing to do is try and be honest to yourself. Take some time to be alone and really get to know yourself. Think about what you like and dont like. Put yourself in different scenarios and try to determine whether you will be happy. Also, as human beings we always worry and think about what people think of us. We want to belong in social groups and be accepted. At the same time we want to be happy with who we are. The most important thing is being happy with who you are. Because if people do not accept you, yes you will probably feel down about it, but because you are honest and true to yourself, you will bounce back and find people who will accept you for who you are and you will be happy. Therefore, cherish yourself at this point in time and take your time to figure out what you want. Life desires should be experienced in my view, regardless of what people say. We only have one shot in life. You dont want to be on your death bed looking back and thinking you didnt live a happy open life. To be happy, you must be comfortable with who you are. I hope I have been of little help.
Hi Toishi. I too am in a similar situation. I'm in my 20”s and all my life I was confident and secure in my sexual orientation as a straight guy and never questioned this or had any doubts until about one month ago. To answer your question, I really don't know if your sexuality has changed or not. You said that you experienced an attraction to a friend of yours, what type of attraction? Was it physical attraction or was it romantic attraction? More information on this would be more helpful because it's not enough for me to give better feedback. You mentioned that you've lost your sexual attraction for girls, is it because of your depression? Depression can affect both the mind and the body so it's possible this is what caused it. Porn isn't a good indicator for determining one's sexual orientation. I personally found that gay porn did absolutely nothing for me. It was boring. In regards to the new girl you met and text with, you say you want to hear from her 24 hours a day. To me this shows you like her and want to get to know her better. But you claim you have no attraction to this girl. No physical attraction or is it no romantic attraction? More information on this would help me understand better. You referred to her as the "perfect” girl for you, so I'm assuming you are into her a lot more than you realize. To get back to your main question, I'm not sure if it's possible for sexuality to change in your 20”s. I could be wrong though. I myself have been confused over the last month over my own sexuality so I'm not the best person to be giving you any real answers to this. I wish you luck and hope you figure things out soon. In the mean time try not to stress or over think things.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm really trying to be honest with myself, the problem is in some times of the day I feel I'm 100% gay, in other I think the opposite, but there is always that feeling of discomfort in me because I can't understand which feeling best suits me. Maybe I'll try some gay experience to figure out and in the meantime I'll keep texting and calling this girl, until we meet and.. well, at that point we'll see! ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2017 at 02:40 AM ---------- Thank you very much for your answer! I'll try to answer all your questions: - The attraction for my friend I felt was sexual, I think I would have enjoyed making something sexual with him. However is over two years from now that I don't feel this feelings for him anymore, and my psychotherapist said is normal in this age to experience feelings for the same sex, because of the natural process of growing up, but who knows; - I suspect that I really repressed myself during the depression period, I remember that I saw girls and thought that I didn't want to start a relationship because I needed a lot of time to fix my other life problems, and that I could only be a problem for a possible girlfriend. Not to mention that I was and am a veery insecure person and I thought that if the sex would have gone bad, would have been devastating for me; - Regarding the girl I'm texting, I noticed I have like semi-erections everytime I hear her voice or see the pictures she sends me of her (not nudes), but its strange, its like.. i wouldn't like to "act on the erection". It's just like I'm really happy in those moments and maybe if she would be with me in that I would like to make love with her, but really don't know. I want to share that with you. In this last days I'm realizing that maybe I'm passing the phase of "visual sexual stimuli" and entering a phase in which I really need to experience girls (or this girl in particular) for real. Don't know if I explainied it well and if it does make sense.. it's just that sometimes I really feel the urge to feel her, and that is arousing, but in other moments if I just fantasize about her visually, I feel almost nothing. To the other hand, if I fantasize about men I jet aroused more easily, so I'm.. what the hell is going on?? Not to mention that the feelings for men and women alternate during the day, in this moment for example I feel very straight and want to be with that girl, but this morning when I woke up i "felt really gay". Sorry if I'm confusing you a lot, but I'm really confused myself in first place.. Thank you again for the answer and have a nice day!
One thing I can add to this topic is that you really, really, shouldn't judge your sexuality based off porn. I'm a gay male, and yet I can get off on lesbian porn, yet I really cannot stand the sight of gay sex.
Same here, bro. 24 years old, was straight for about 20 years, started seriously questioning my sexuality when I was 21, got more serious about it last year, and then all of a sudden, BAM, I really really like guys. Like, a switch just went off in my head is the only way I can describe it. The thing of it is, I can't really nail down what I am or what I like entirely. I know I can't stop thinking about men, so that covers being Gay. But just like ~heythere999 said, I've looked at some gay porn, and it looks really really weird. Being intimate with a guy sounds absolutely wonderful, and I fantasize a lot lately. So being "in-the-moment" with a guy would be amazing. But watching other guys do it? Nope. Animated or drawn porn of gay men, that's a different story, and I think it's mainly because drawings of men look... cuter. In fact, artwork of men and women look cuter, or more ideal. I dunno. It's a quirk of mine. And yeah, like you said in your initial post, women are still attractive, still sexy, boobs are still awesome in their own right. But beyond enjoying their looks, and enjoying straight porn, I can't imagine myself being intimate with a woman anymore. There might be a special type of woman that I could still find appealing in an romantic or intimate way, but she would have to be a very special, more masculine type, I think. Anyways. I feel ya. It's all new, it's all strange, but it's also kinda nice in a way. For me, it's felt like puberty all over again. And I'm no longer as dweeby or nerdy as I looked in my teens, so that's a plus too.
