1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Questioning

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Dynamic13, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. Dynamic13

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2017
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So I have been struggling with my sexuality for a while now. At first I was questioning if I was straight or not but in my mind I have acknowledged now that I am definitely not. I just am unsure now as to if I am bisexual or a lesbian. I had crushes on guys when I was in elementary and middle school but throughout high school I was pretty much uninterested and when prom came around I went with a friend who was a guy but I felt nothing towards him.

    Currently I have a lot of crushes on girls and I know that I definitely like girls but I'm not sure about guys. I think I can imagine marrying and such with a guy but I'm just not sure. I haven't had any experience with either gender but in my mind I just want to be sure with my sexuality. Does anyone have any advice on what to do or maybe wanting to share some experiences from how they dealt with sexuality? Thank you!
     
  2. IceGalaxy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2015
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Germany
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Questioning is hard and there is no simple answer of "Yes, you are gay/bi" or "No, you are straight - it takes a lot of time and serious introspection, but eventually everything will become clearer.

    Firstly, if you are in the position to date/experiment with people of different genders then you should probably do so because that will give you the best idea of what sort of person you are attracted to. I'm bi and I find people some types of people attractive and some not so, regardless of gender.

    If you aren't fortunate enough to date/experiment (and this was the case for me), there is always the old route of using your imagination and exploring whether you imagine yourself being with that person. For me, I watched a lot of LGBT and regular films/TV shows (e.g. Carol, The Way He Looks, The Atonement...) over the summer and certain characters and relationships connected with me more than others and gave me an idea of what sort of future I would like for myself.

    The main thing is to not be worried. I spent ages thinking over and over, coming to conclusions and then spiraling back into questioning. I started to wonder what my parents, friends, family would think and how they would react and playing the different scenarios around in my head, making myself more and more stressed. Don't rush into decisions and close doors; think about it slowly and let time slowly tell you the answers.

    Another thing: Although it is important to think about it, don't obsess over it. Then it begins to eat away at your life and you lose focus of the present. You have years to make up your mind so don't try and force it out now.

    It won't be easy and even though questioning can be hard, it's also kind of fun too. Good luck with it, and hope it goes well.