Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about sex?

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

I don't have personal experience since I'm very reticent about my sexuality. But I should say that this is true due to stereotypes, especially if a straight person is asking (they're less likely to have researched the topic or have less opportunities/reason to meet a lot of homosexual people.) Of course the stereotype of homosexuals is that they tend to be a lot more flamboyant and vocal about their sex life (whether gay or lesbian or another orientation) and since we are in the minority, it's exactly these types of people you hear about on the news or just on tumblr.
Everyone is an individual and will have different personalities, but those who are more conservative, chaste, or have a shy personality, are a lot less likely to be heard or seen. Many of these people are a lot more worried about how others will view them after exposing their sexuality and are thus more likely to still be in the closet, or keep it on a need-to-know basis (making the likelihood that you will meet a shy homosexual less likely than meeting a super vocal homosexual.)

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

The only person I'm (really) out to is my asexual girl friend, so YEAH, doesn't happen to me.

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

That is a strange way to see if someone is gay or not...:dry:

I have two female friends that I am somewhat comfortable about talking about my sex life with, but only in private conversation. Its still normally ends up turning into an awkward conversation when the subject is brought up. I definitely wouldn't consider talking about a taboo subject like sexual behavior with people to be a good indicator of sexual orientation.

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

Is it wrong of me to say I found this scenario kind of funny? Even though it's annoying.

Can relate. I'm quite private and I sometimes find it galling when other people expect me to share details. I definitely don't do that with casual acquaintances/colleagues etc, and sometimes, like TXTurbo, I'll talk to friends, but even that's not that common. I thought this made me weird for a very long time. Bottom line, you're not weird for not wanting to chit-chat about it. At the end of the day, it is private.

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

People think I am straight, there are one or two who had a hunch. But not because I dont speak about my sex life or potential dating life. I never do, never did. I dont even know straights who do extensively ?

Gay is kinda stigmatized with , open about sex, having a lot of sex with all gays among eachother, especially men.

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

Very strange, makes me think about being "pro gay" is behaving proper and good and popular but maybe empty. On the other hand it can be for some a topic that makes them relive prudish feelings again.

Your story is crazy, the argument behind it is just crazy.

If I think like that, most straight dont talk about their sex life (people generally just dont..in my experience) so with that logic I must wonder if someone who talks about sex is actually straight. Since hey your straight and straight people usually are not so open about it Maybe your gay.

But there are all kinds of stories, all kind of weirdness around it...sigh people

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

*Eye role* I hate it when people try to decern my sexuality like this...I was very sheltered myself, even though I had a lot of exposure too....well, things I shouldn't have, parents didint even try to talk to me about sex...so I guess I just never became comfortable taking about it, or much less comfortable to come out to anyone. :/ People always assumed I was gay...I mean, their sort of right, but it's not nice to make mean spirited assumptions. At any rate, I've become a good actor apparently, lol. Once while working some of my coworkers got into a risqué conversation that led to them asking me if I would sleep with a black woman, I replied that I think a better question is, would a black woman sleep with me?...she concedes and then leaves me alone, and then later says "He's not gay, he don't mind taking about this stuff" ....so why do people think that way?...go figure :/

 

Re: Do people think you're straight because you're not too comfortable talking about

Not really, because it's mostly just..." That's none of your fucking business..do you normally ask people this shit?"

Well..less rudely formulated but...if people are curious or ask nicely I usually answer honestly..there are however instances in which I'm not comfortable discussing this stuff.
So..I just tell people. Not in terms of " I don't want to talk about lesbian sex" but rather in a " sex is a very intimate and personal thing and I am in no way obliged to fulfill your curiosity."-way.

Honestly though...whoever is asking you these questions...they don't have any right to ask you if you said you're uncomfortable with it. None. It's none of their business, unless they wish to answer all the questions about their sex-life.