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Unsure of sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Tik29, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Tik29

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    Ive always liked women a lot and here and there I'd have attraction to guys. But recently I've mainly been thinking about guys . Aside from now regularly watching gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites many times and to talked to alot of guys, some of those convos even got serrious I've been told that I'm just curious (because of watching gay porn) but does the fact that I'm talking and. Flirting with guys online mean something more and I just don't see it?
     
  2. renard

    renard Guest

    First of all, Tik29, I think it's important to know that you can define yourself however you want. It's not what people tell you, it's what you say you are and how you say you feel that matter. It's your right to say "I'm curious," or "I'm bisexual," or whatever you want, and if you feel differently later, then there's no problem with that.

    It might help to know I had a lot of similar feelings. I was sure I liked girls, and my attraction to guys was just a fleeting thing. It would happen here and there and I'd get really nervous about it, but it would pass. Except the feelings didn't pass, and I felt worse and worse about myself the longer I denied the legitimacy of those feelings. So I admitted to myself that I liked guys, but quickly after being a bit more honest, I started to realize that I wasn't that attracted to girls after all. It was only after I stopped assuming my flirting with guys didn't make me gay or bi that I was able to be honest in that way.

    The point is: gay/bi/curious/questioning or whatever, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But to me, the fact that you've been interested in gay porn and talking to guys on dating sites (and have had an EC account since 2015) suggests that these attractions probably won't just go away. Flirting with guys and watching porn don't necessarily make you gay, but if those thoughts and attractions keep surfacing, try not to ignore them or make light of them.

    Try this: look in the mirror and say, "I like guys." Then say it again. And again. Say it to yourself as you're walking around. See how facing that possible reality feels. No matter what your sexuality is, I think it's a good idea to be open to these feelings — and that also means calling them what they are — rather than pushing them away or assuming they don't mean much.

    I hope this helps some! Much love! (*hug*)
     
  3. Tik29

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    I have done that before and I'm ok if I turn out to be gay I just wanted to hear other opinions
     
  4. smurf

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    Who told you that you were just curious?

    From what you are saying, it sounds like you definitely like guys and its not just curiosity. As to what that means for your sexuality is up to you.

    It could mean that you are gay, bi, pan etc.

    When I first started trying to figure all of it out, the Kinsey scale was very helpful to me. If you haven't heard of it before, its a pretty cool tool to begin understanding how sexuality can look like.
     
  5. Mj5963

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    Hi there Ana this thread is relatable . I am a married man with three daughters 2125 range . Recently my wife discovered I had been sleeping with guys , first off I admittted it never denied it took ownership and never blamed her . We are dealing with it now in therapy and all and don't know where it will end up as been married long time and won't do anything rash . But my sexuality is in question to her and to me and I am trying to resolve it. I am very aware of the Kinsey scale and the spectrum gives me some thoughts on where I believe I fit without such worry on label . The extremes Re straight at one end and gay at other Ana the. Many places in between which I know I fit , I do know I am not straight that is obvious and that I fully own and accept . Professional help is so important to really open your heart and soul. I am getting close to my own reconciliation. Hope this helps and I have no problems talking about it